One word. 10 letters.
The description of a lifetime.
Conformity is when the world steps on our feet and expects us to hold on to our false grins and be genuinely happily at the same time. It is the hypocritical ways that life tends to supress our very thoughts and expects us to be alright with it. In fact, it expects us to be happy that way.
It is the reason behind domestic disturbances and personal boundaries.
To live beyond conformity means to live without boundaries hammered in by society. It means to be free in thought and expression and to be able to make your own decisions for ourselves. It means to build our own dreams and decide our own limits.
In today’s day and age, conformity is the one evil that defines us. It is the curse upon which most of us are doomed, feared and tense about the multiple deformities and obstructions strewn across our paths.
Stepping out of our houses, wearing what we like and looking the way we want to, without fearing the community’s opinion is a rarity. Our own thoughts and opinions are shackled.
I believe, that in our fickle human minds, a seed of shame has been deeply planted.
With our constant worry, we’re watering that seed and growing a tree of humiliation in our own souls. A tree that shall forever grow if we don’t plan a deforestation of our own insecurities immediately.
” Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” –John Kennedy
If life was a blank paper, conformity would mean to hand over the pen to outsiders and decide your fate for you. What’s the point of living if all you’re going to do is conform to the rules that other people set for you? Doesn’t make much sense, does it?
This is your life.
Take that pen and write what you want, the way you want it, in your book of life.
After all, you only live once.
This brings me to how most women in our country feel the desperate need to be approved for whatever it is that they are doing. They are constantly in denial about their own feelings and in perennial necessity to know exactly what they’re supposed to do to gain that acceptance. Yes, that’s the word. Acceptance.
Is acceptance something that’s so important that it changes who we are? It lets us conform to widely accepted principles and let our own voices not be heard?
I don’t think it’s right for us to have to gulp down our thoughts and emotions just to be able to have a group of people around us like us. When individuality is lost, what’s the point of that love? Nothing.
“Conform and be dull” – J. Frank
In my personal opinion, one can only call herself truly independent when her mind is free of binding forces.
To cite a personal example, for me, one of the biggest conformities was having to live in a community of right handed people. Being completely left handed, I was often looked down upon wherever I went. Be it college, a restaurant, a temple or even my own neighbour’s house. It came to a point where I stopped eating in public, going to temples and even going out in general. It caused in me, a serious disability to such an extent that I no longer wanted to live my own life. The impact of others’ opinions had changed my style of living to a point where I felt like no matter what I did, I was being watched and judged. It became an obsession, a kind of paranoia implanted deep into my brain, one I couldn’t fight but also one I couldn’t give in to.
Going beyond that is possibly the most difficult thing I’ve ever conquered, but in the end, I achieved it.
True, it took a lot of time, probably much more than it should have, but in the end, it was done. That, in its own level, takes a lot of courage.
If they can, I can and if I can, then you can.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Conformity changes you to an extent where everyone around you is finally satisfied with who you’ve become but you’ve truly lost your individuality and your character. It’s only when you allow someone to make you feel more inferior to the rest, this situation arises. Labels are not for people. They’re for clothes.
A garden is meant to be full of a variety of flowers. Not if it is filled with just red roses. That wouldn’t make sense. What’s the use of a garden if there isn’t an assortment to love? Some may not be as beautiful as the rest but that doesn’t deny their beauty.
Life should not be a rose garden. It should be a flower bed.
So, live life your way.
Because, in the end, the people who have pointed fingers at you won’t matter.
The only thing that matters is you.