Dealing with Family Issues

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For so many women today – families can be a blessing and a curse.

They may support them in many decisions and provide them with undying support, but they may also coerce them into making professional and social decisions that prove disastrous for their futures. These arises due to a lack of communication, often from the family’s side. Especially at a young age, a girls’ dreams & desires are often tampered with a statement that – ironically – should suggest no limitations: “But you are a woman!” Just like that, many girls are given a twisted justification to forego giving their dreams a real push and are forced to adopt more “traditional” tasks asked of women – cooking, cleaning, raising children, etc.

However, the very fact that they’re women should imply that they’re no more children – they are female adults, and can hence take decisions by themselves. The only problem is that this notion is often so firmly ingrained in the minds of older women that they teach the younger ones to think like that too, and hence create an incredible fuss when they don’t do as expected. They’re often threatened with disownment and the likes. Contrary to popular belief, though, women can make decisions about their future. They can earn for themselves, and they can make their own mistakes. Most importantly, they should, because having a family act as a buffer to the hard choices in life creates dependent women who are vulnerable to exploitation. It creates women who fear the very idea of going against anything they’re told to do, and instead of becoming strong and successful, they turn into servile beings forced to accept the ton of nonsense thrown at them by unscrupulous partners. They essentially fit the profile of a perfect slave.

So for young girls to avoid this, they need to try and force communication. In order for a progressive tomorrow, we need to shed the old ways of the past. Culture and tradition are to be maintained, but they are also to be acknowledged as by-products of a different era in the human race’s timeline. Certain things that might’ve made sense earlier in history are simply unacceptable today – and the domination of a woman by her family is just one of those. What many people don’t realize is that threatening to repudiate someone because they want to do something other than what you’ve told them is virtually a crime. People shouldn’t be forced to pair up with a guy who’s someone else’s choice against their consent, and people shouldn’t study courses that have been chosen by other people. Regardless of your relationship, at a certain age, a family has to transition from bosses to guides. Offering advice and support is the best way to help someone flourish, and it is not by threatening to alienate them that you do anything good for them.

To fix this, women are placed with a burden many men simply don’t have – they need to force through advanced levels of communication. They need to make that extra push that men don’t necessarily have to make in order to achieve equality. It is definitely unfair, but it is a step towards a fairer state of affairs. By trying to make your family understand that you’re interested in one thing as opposed to another, and by giving them constructive, clear and detailed reasons as to why that is, you’re offering them a brand new insight as to who you are and why you want to be that person. Of course, in a realistic world, talking and talking won’t do very much. But talking alone means nothing – action also has to be taken. If you wish to do something, you need to be able to show your family how that is the best option for you. If they still can’t understand that, then maybe they do not have your very best interests at heart. That is one situation we often tend to ignore because we all believe that our families only ever want the best for us. But a complete woman is a woman who is independent, happy and successful at what she does. If she is tossed into the shoes of someone she doesn’t want to be, she will enter a shell of depression and/or disinterest with life.

The loss of anybody’s vitality is always a loss to mankind, and if we allow ourselves to be defeated, then we are letting our entire race down. That’s why, from time to time, we need to confront the people we love. We need to sit down and thrash out the details with them. We need to stand firm.

And as a woman, you need to re-assert the strength of your femininity. If a woman can’t even explain herself to the people that raised her, what shall she do when she joins a new family, or a new profession, or even a new country? Unfortunately, these are dilemmas faced by women every day. These are dilemmas that last life-times unless they’re addressed, and they’re dilemmas that can waste a life-time

But they don’t have to.

Not if you’re a brave woman who stands up for herself.

Not if you’re a strong woman who respects herself and does what’s best for herself.

You can all be that woman.

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