Domestic Violence

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Domestic violence is one of the leading forms of abuse suffered by women.

Even in their own homes, it seems, women are not safe from the cruelty of primitive men. Even in their own homes, women are subject to emotional, verbal, economic and physical abuse. These are all the different forms of emotional violence that women are subject to.

It often arises due to friction in the marriage down to some perceived betrayal or abuse of your spousal rights. More often, it is a result of the perpetrator’s inherent sense of self-gratification through the domination of someone weaker than them.

Most men who commit domestic violence are men who’re unable to come to terms with their own weaknesses or who have suffered defeats or affronts to their pride that they’re incapable of matching. Thus, being cowards, they go and look for a weaker party that they can dominate. It isn’t typical male behaviour, and is a hallmark of a failure.

Very often, since these are men who’re too weak to deal with issues properly, they will tip the odds heavily in their favour. Many perpetrators of domestic violence make sure that they seize their wives’ assets prior to marriage in order to have full financial control over them. They will try to place women in unfamiliar environments such that they have nowhere to run to except the house of the perpetrator. Some even threaten to do away with the children, keeping the women in check through black-mail.

Domestic abusers very often display patterns that can lead one to perceive them as such. They are very prone to raising their voices, losing their temper and throwing violent tantrums. The abuse begins for the woman when one of these violent tantrums is aimed at her. Of course, it is extremely difficult to gauge, as anybody is blinded by their feelings – but crucially, if your partner launches a violent and angry tirade at you, confiscates one of your things or takes a physical swing at you, then I’m sorry but your partner will abuse you more.

Like any common criminal, 97% of reported domestic abuse cases are aimed at repeat offenders. In other words, if he did it to you once, he will most definitely do it to you again. There is no redemption, no second chance and no “sorry”. Any reasonable man will tell you that he wouldn’t take a swing at a woman. But if your guy has done it once, why won’t he do it again?

The greatest problem with domestic violence is that it very often places women in untenable positions; they have to share homes with their abusers, sometimes business, and they’re very often trapped in the home of the perpetrator.

Domestic violence is a major issue because it is perpetrated by someone who knows the victim very well and can predict or anticipate her every move. Cruel husbands often hunt their escaping wives down and seemingly block all exit strategies, and force them back into their households. Once the women are re-captured like inoffensive game, they are brutally punished. This is one of the factors that greatly contributes to the difficulty in catching and arresting criminals – they’re partners are too scared to report them, fearing retaliation, or they are still in love with them.

It is also a phenomenon often magnified by alcoholism or poor mental health. In these cases, the violence is much more likely to be physical than any other form. Very often, the perpetrators will claim that they have no re-collection of the events, or that they were not truly aware of what was going on. Once again, these are not your typical mistakes. These are the traits of an abuser.

Domestic violence is also one of the forms of violence against women that has the longest effect – emotionally and by extension, to her children. Many women maintain abusive relationships in order to keep their kids in a traditional, nuclear family, but they are not aware that they are doing more damage than good. Most children from abusive homes retain deep-seated psychological trauma, and some of this trauma manifests itself as similar abusive behaviour in the child’s adulthood. One abusive family will breed another, dooming generations of children to its unfortunate psychological effects.

When domestic violence reaches its peak, however, it can lead to murder. 38% of all murder cases are related to domestic abuse. Other forms of domestic violence include acid attacks and honour killings. These are often related to unreasonable demands from the victim from the husband and his/her family. They also lead to suicide and financial disability.

To tackle domestic violence, countries around the world have done their best to reinforce laws protecting women. NGOs travel around the world educating women about their rights and giving them safe havens to escape cruel men. But even then, their efforts aren’t always enough. Many women are intimidated by their husbands, or are defending their children, so it is hard to convince them to escape it. Other women are bound to their husbands by traditional & cultural ties.

One day people will learn how to respect each other and domestic violence will end; until then, we need to make sure that we do not stay in abusive relationships. Anytime you feel you are being coerced to do something you don’t really want to do, or if you feel afraid of someone, you need to see that that relationship is unsustainable.


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