Its not her fault

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How many times are women blamed for something even when it is not their fault. They are accused of things and bear the consequences even thought none of it is their fault. Some of the most common instances where women are blamed without it being their fault are when they harassed or give birth to a girl child or if they are outspoken and have progressive views. And if a marriage fails and ends  in a divorce it is always the women who are blamed for all of it and somehow the men in such situations manage to walk away squeaky clean.

women's gender

Lets take this very common example. In a case if a woman gives birth to a girl child, she is blamed for it and it is said to be her fault that the child is a girl. All of this happens without knowing the science behind all of this. Scientifically speaking it is the male sex gamete; that is the sperm that determines the sex of the baby and not the women. So if a woman gives birth to a female child, she has nothing to do with it, it is because of the man. But this is not the case, it is still women who are cursed and who suffer the consequences.

If a marriage fails or ends in a divorce, again the woman in the situation is condemned. It is always considered the fault of the woman and no one even looks at the man here. The man is seen as the victim and the woman is the wrong doer. Without even knowing the dynamics of the relationship the society blames the woman blindly. They think that the woman would have been more dominating or probably did not give enough time to the family. Say that the guy cheated on the woman in his life, this also boils down to the woman. The people say that probably the woman was too career driven and self involved to give the guy the time so the guy had to do this. In this situation it is very clear that the woman has been wronged, but no the society has a very different view. They have a habit of blaming everything on the woman.

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In our society it is very okay for a man to remarry after a divorce or if his wife died. But god forbid if a divorced woman or a widow even considered marrying again. Whatever may be the reason, it may be to support her kids and give them a father, no no it is very bad. A widow or a divorcee is considered bad luck by the society, because apparently it was her fault that her husband was hit by a truck or died in an airplane crash, these are not just unfortunate incidents, these things happened because the man has this woman in his life. These reasons are very irrational and have no logic behind them. Such women are looked down by the society. And even after this they do not think that this is a loss for the woman too. They do not treat her nicely and show some respect and sympathy, rather than doing this they mistreat and humiliate the woman. In some families the widow is not even allowed to live in the house and is thrown out. She is forbidden from wearing any jewelry or colorful clothes for that matter. She is supposed to mourn her dead husband for the rest of her life. On the other hand if someone’s wife died, the guy would be getting married within the next month and everyone would be happily dancing and giving their blessings.

And the worse if a woman is eve teased or harassed in any manner the retort she gets it that she has become too modern for our society. That her thinking is very progressive and that she needs to tone it down. And the kind of clothes she wears are the reason of her being treated like that. It is said that if she wore “decent” enough clothes or would not have been so outgoing and friendly this wouldn’t have happened to her. Rather than punishing the men behind it, people tend to blame even this on the woman.

And the women in our society take all of this blame silently and do not say a single word. I would just like to say that the women bear all of this but still there is a limit to it too. The society needs to stop blaming women for anything that is wrong or out of place and the men need to take their share of the blame. They cannot keeps escaping this on the basis of the fact that they are guys. If people don’t start doing this the women will start rebelling against these wrong doings and will not sit quietly. Women will counter all these false blames and this might be the day where our social structure fails. Our society has been failing the women in our country and it is high time this changes before we make it change.

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