Why being a girl is so difficult?

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You know why girls are born? To compromise. Yes, I am sure you must be thinking what am I talking, but don’t you think it’s the fact. Let’s see how.

I was at a friend’s village for some days, there I met a teenage girl who goes to work at different houses like a maid. Happened a chance I asked her why don’t you study? She smiled and answered, “didi, if I had so much money, why would I’ve been working at different houses. We don’t have money, we are poor people. And so I had to leave studies in the middle, so that I could help my parents to earn money so that my little brother could study and be a big man one day. There being so small, she had to compromise her education.

Once I happened to ask a friend of mine, why is she doing engineering when she is not interested? Her answer was, my parents want me to be an engineer, so that they have a big name in the society. At the time of marriage proposal I will get good family, with high profile and well educated boy’s proposal.

When asked a college class mate, why is she leaving her studies midway? She answered, with disappointment in her eyes; my mother is on bed, not keeping well. I have two small siblings and my father works as a carpenter, they need someone to feed them food, to take care of my mother and small siblings at home. We are poor, and I need to take care of my family and let my other small siblings study so if I leave studies there will be enough of money for my siblings studies and mothers medicine.

When asked a friend’s sister, why is she marrying the boy she doesn’t love. And why not telling her parents she loves someone else? She said it with a smile. Can you see my parents are so happy greeting the guests out there? Can you see how my dad is relaxed to see his daughter getting married to his choice? It’s all for this happiness on their face. They want me to get marry to the guy they have chosen for me and they think it’s a better choice than mine who don’t earn as per their expectations. They don’t want me to spoil their name in the society.

There she managed to compromise her happiness for her family.

A friend of mine used to get sexually harassed in office by her coworker, she left that job. I asked her why she did not tell her family about it. She says, if I tell them and do a police complaint this society will never look at me and my parents the way they look at me and my family with respect today. Whatever be the situation, they blame a girl. And then my family will have to suffer and then they will not allow me to do jobs anywhere else. They will fear that their daughter will not get marriage proposals.

It is so strenuous for a girl to live in this society. Where on the one hand, they praise a woman in the name of god on the other they blame woman itself to be a woman? A girl has to compromise a lot in her life, just to see her loved ones happy. But don’t you think she have a right to chose, to think, to speak out?

Rape, acid attacks, save girl child, dowry, harassment. Everywhere a girl has to suffer. Why?

The Delhi gang rape the girl died suffering a lot. What about the rapist who raped her and pushed her to death? They are still alive. Very small punishment and an injustice to that innocent soul. But it’s gone, she is gone. Now it hardly matters. But the rapes and acid attacks are still going on.  You think dowry is history? No it is still going on. The greedy evils are still alive. A girl is harassed so much that either she hangs herself, or fights back like a brave soldier. Some lose some win. Harassment is there in every corner. Day or night, workplace, roadside or bus stand. How does it matter to them?  They do what they like, some women/ girls be silent, while some fight back.

Because of rapes, acid attacks, crime in the world happening around some girls are not allowed to go out with their friends to hang out; because the parents fear what if their daughter is next?

It is obvious on their part. Being a girls parent it is like a burden for them in this orthodox society, which says a girl should not be allowed to be out, and should get married as soon as possible. Before she is asked to study to have a high profile degree to get good proposals for marriage, then she is asked to marry the one they choose. She is asked to behave properly, wear only this, start to learn to cook, if you don’t do this, the people will talk about us and you and gossip about us.

Every other girl goes through this. But the question remains, do really women deserves this or she deserve to have a respectful, secure and a right to choice life. Can this be changed? Yes it can. You and I can bring the change. The new generation that is we can bring a change. Let’s help our sisters, daughters, wife, mother, to get their dignity, their respect. Let them live on their choices and make this a better world where they can live without fear.

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