Because what happened today won’t happen tomorrow.

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As a soft melody plays in the background you see him going down on one knee, his usually relaxed posture seems tensed as he tries to fidget with the hem of his coat. You can sense the anticipation of the people in the restaurant as all eyes are on both of you. The ball of emotions hits your nerves making you excited and anxious all at once.  The atmosphere in the restaurant suddenly feels suffocating as your palms become sweaty and you try to wipe it off on your dress. As if planned the music slows to end and he removes the red velvet box, you know it’s the time you waited for, your heart skips a beat and your breathing becomes fast as your legs fell like a jelly when he murmurs “will you marry me?”  You just nod as a lone tear escapes your eyes when he slips the diamond ring on your finger. Everyone present there claps and he sweeps you off your feet and cradles you in his arms. All the traces of nervousness and insecurity disappear into thin air. All that matters now is him, that warm smile, mysterious eyes and the emotions they portray. You cannot help the smile that makes its way onto your face, you feel giddy with happiness, everything falls into place when you have found the one you love and things start looking up.

 

What happens when you despise waking up to that man sleeping beside you every morning, now after two years? It kills you to go through the routine, preparing meals for him, doing his laundry, pleasing him and if time permits then breathing. Even when you breathe all you smell is his unfaithfulness as your nostrils prick at the familiar smell of that channel perfume his PA wears from his shirts that you carry in the laundry basket. But there is only so much you can do! Because it’s not like things will change if you do something, is it? You have walked in on them in his cabin, as they try to fix their clothes under your scrutinizing glare, what you get in return when you allege your husband that he is cheating on you? He warns you to not enter his cabin without knocking on the door and a nonchalance shrug. You are broken inside to see how your dream life turns out to be. This is the same guy you chose over your career as you dropped college before you could complete your masters because he insisted on an early marriage. You convinced your parents that he is the right one moreover you convinced yourself that he will never let you down.

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You have read about the cliché statements ‘love is blind’ which falls true in your case nevertheless but you chose to remain blind even after you fall out of love. You think there is nowhere else to go, you cannot afford to go back home, your parents won’t be able to take the snide remarks thrown at them by the people. Also, you still have a younger sister for whom your parents are searching a suitable groom; if you get a divorce and go back she will face problems too. How you would have had a respectable job to support you today if you didn’t drop out of college that day. How you regret giving up carrier and blindly trusting somebody to take care of your future. What you did not know while reading all those romance novels and getting all dreamy over happy endings that it is a piece of fiction when life is not! Every girl while growing up dreams about her prince charming, about falling in love, having kids and nurturing a family in a castle on a faraway island. That is how she is brought up with those Barbie dolls and fairytales, only thing she hears growing up is one day you shall be married then what? It makes her believe that there she belongs, when everything be it her education her career or her dressing somehow end in the marriage parameter.

Determined you call your husband at office to take his permission so that you can take up your masters again. Mad at him and at yourself you throw the phone as his words “why do you need to? I earn enough, you look after the family and home” ring into your ears. How so conveniently he cut your wings off to stop you from flying. You cry and scream but no one is there to hear you. because you yourself gave up everything that you could have achieved into his hands and now you are just a puppet to dance when he pulls the strings. Collapsed on the floor with your hands on the coffee table you stare into space not bothering to clean the tear stained face. Helpless and lost you feel for yourself and the other girls who are or will be in the same position as yours. If you can do nothing for yourself now you can do something for others before it’s too late for them too. You pick up the pen and note pad and scribble out the words- Because what happened today won’t happen tomorrow.

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