I’d rather be honest than impressive, I’m a transgender!

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He was metamorphosing day after day, something was provoking him from entrails to be like a women, to dress like them, to talk like them, to eat like them and to act like them. He was more interested in men rather than girls, girls were like guy friends, one you could talk to, be friend with, but could never be intimate (If you are not homosexual, of course!). Besides her solicitude, she was aware of the fact that his coming out as a ‘hijra’ was tormenting for his parents and for the entire family. Give it a thought: Reaction of your Peers and caretakers when they know you are not one of their kind, the attitude towards him was different and the family was sad, for this brutality the daemon has poured on them. Born in a tiny village near Hyderabad, whose inhabitants were totally unaware of who or what ‘hijras’ are. He belonged to a Compound family; three brothers, two sisters, all doing well but he wasn’t!  He behaved like girl since he was a child, till ninth class it all went fine, but then it started created problems, especially with his brothers and father. His mother use to get emotional thinking of how a son born from her could be like that, why is he behaving like a girl. Because of this, she usually got ill and astonishingly she wasn’t allowed to take care of her, not even his mother! Reason was simple, his father and brother use to rebuke her mother and accused her of making him like this.

It was not about his own self-esteem, instead a matter of personal prestige for his father, brothers and sisters as well. One day he was walking down the road with his brother: a working professional in a reputed firm, wearing a sari, suddenly people started provoking him by my name “Hey, your brother is a chakka, we know it, is he the only one or something else is buried down there”?

For an instance, think how his brother would have felt, he could’ve gone into a fight with the digger but he didn’t, he had to adapt for sake of his brother. But this wasn’t the height, when his brother was about to get married, people use to taunt her fellow wife that her husband will also be a chakka, just like his brother! Among countless incidents, one think he got to know for sure was that the society is not going to accept him.

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As said, he studied in a private school until ninth standard, during break time, while visiting the men’s toilet; he began to notice the changes in his body, comparable to others. His seniors use to tease him; sometime they offer him chocolates and even kiss. He was totally unaware of sex, the big boys use to call him in a corner to grope hum during break. When he became 12-13 years of age, he started noticing change in his behavior. He was attracted towards his same sex counterparts, he use to fancy other boys and think how nice or bad that guy was. He wanted to talk to them, but he couldn’t, his ambitions were over ruled by the evil thoughts of physical dissimilitude he possess. Everyone use to tease him, she failed twice in ninth standard! She found talking or thinking of boys more interesting than studying. This is how it had been before she joined his community.

He officially became SHE and joined his community and got a cordial welcome from everyone, but living this life isn’t easy, wearing a sari all the time isn’t an easy job, plus the public inflict great agony on them; it’s fine once you are used to them but sometime it gets very emotional listening to these sort of bullshit all the time. It’s gloomy living alone, living a life altogether different from others, to realize that you are never going to acquire success and fame in life, doesn’t matter how hard have you tried. It’s like trying for something you are not even eligible for, doesn’t matter how hard you try, you are not going to succeed because actually you are not in the race. Then they realize: Let the Dogs bark, let them say what they want, I have to live for myself, not for them. She accepted every sobriquet the society had given her, they call her by name, she accepted; they call her hijra, she accepted; they call her chakka, she accepted. She accepted because she has to live to it, otherwise it become hard to sustain. She has accepted the truth that she is made like this, nobody can help.

As per her own words “God has a plan that I am made like this. The way male, female, fruits, vegetables are made, similarly god made transgender as well, we have been here since this universe is formed. I think about my life sometimes, that is sad but I won’t be sad, I will live and bless everyone until I die”

Well said mam, we need your wishes too, to obliterate contrariety from the community, and to lay confraternity, where every person will be treated impartially.

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  • madhuri

    its lamentable….dey r d victims of Inhumanity