Is it hard for Indian women to maintain an executive presence while striving to keep a family united?
The answer lies in the question itself.
Looking closely, I wonder, why it is asked if ‘Indian’ women find it difficult to maintain an executive presence while striving to keep a family intact.
Shouldn’t all women have a problem with that?
The reason the question is so specific, is simple.
It lies in our Indian perspectives.
“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”
― Nora Ephron
Studies show that most women are prone to be emotional. At least, they are more emotional than men. Hence, it makes it difficult for them, or rather, us, to be more structured and planned in our thinking and hence, it could be perceived as difficult. But then again, looking at it from another point of view, it has also been proven that women are capable of thinking with both halves of their brain which makes them capable of organized behaviour as well as of showering a tornado of emotions, whereas men cannot multitask that way.
“A woman is like a tea bag: you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”
If roles were reversed, then a lot of hell would break lose.
For example, the man would have to wake up ahead of the rest of the family to cook and clean, pack lunch boxes for his kids, give instructions to the maid or babysitter and then go out for work on time. He would then have to come back late at night and repeat the whole cooking and cleaning process, all the while, plastering his best smile on his face.
Not only is this highly difficult to imagine, but is also very hard to do.
Now imagine a woman doing the same things.
It isn’t that difficult to imagine, is it?
Of course she would be flustered. Who wouldn’t be?
She needs to deal with pressures of work and home as they play tricks on her mind.
But then again, she doesn’t have to.
Times are changing! So should we!
If a man were to walk up to an independent working woman today and say ‘Hey! Leave the money earning to me and take care of the dishes,’ then he’d surely have enough bruises that would leave him howling for a week.
“Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country.” - Margaret Thatcher
Difficulty is not something that is measurable.
It is perception based.
For women of high metabolism, a positive attitude and an energetic mind, nothing is impossible. But then again, there are those women who take life as a daily drudgery instead of as a challenge. That would then probably pose an issue.
Every problem has a solution no matter how hard it may seem to find one sometimes. A family is one that shares both joys and burdens and not just the former. Hence, if everyone were to pitch in to help and share the work, why would there be any sort of difficulty involved in the first place?
It definitely is easy to say but not that easy to do.
Then again, we humans are the only creatures on the planet built with minds powerful enough to be both cruel and compassionate.
Place yourself in the other person’s shoes. That will let you realize how much your presence and attitude affect’s the other person’s mentality and progress.
“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.”
Often, there are cases where women who are more successful than their spouses are suppressed emotionally. Or, they are insulted by the family members for menial reasons like not giving enough attention or timely attendance to basic needs.
This leads me to pose a question.
In such a situation, who is responsible?
Is it the family that is being unsupportive, or the woman who is taking all their nonsense and not fighting back?
I’d blame the latter more.
This is why this situation is eminent, mostly in India.
If, for once, the woman was to stand up for herself and tell the other members of her family to do their own chores, a sense of equality and justice would be established. So, instead of coming back frustrated to a messy house and hungry children, she would come home, happy and feeling blessed that everyone was doing their part to keep their lives together in a harmonious relationship.
To keep a family bound, it isn’t just the woman who should try her best. The whole family needs to pitch in. This is the modern juggling act, finding the perfect work life balance between home and office. There is no word ‘impossible’. It’s all about the power of the mind.
Life is short. You’ve got to have your cake and eat it too. Who is to say you can’t?
“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” - Ayn Rand