The winds picked up, I rubbed my palms so that the friction of the skin could keep me warm. The sound of the crickets mixed with that of rustling leaves created the atmosphere just like that night, the night which I left a year behind me. I walk ahead towards the edge of the cliff, the moonlight lightening the impact of dark clouded night the best it can, little stars were like the sparkles splattered in the sky. And when you look down there, it is a whole different world at your display, everything seemed so tiny, the houses, the vehicles, and the yellow lights illuminating the almost nonexistent night life of this small town. I feel his arms wrap around me as he whispered into my ear “Here Forever Tiya”, and the fear was building up in me as the tears started building up in my eyes, I cannot feel the warmth of his body and when I look around there is no one. So I was reliving the night, the thought gave me chills and I could not keep in the tears anymore as I started sobbing. His one arm wrapped around me and the other hand holding mine as we stared at the stars sitting on the blanket that was laid in front of his car. That was how he wanted to breathe his last, with me in our small little world.
I crossed paths with him on an autumn morning when just like any other day I was seated on the swing of the park close to my house. He came and sat on the adjacent swing, as he attempted to start a conversation. Turned out he went to the same school as me and he walked me home that day. From that day on I never walked to school alone though I do not have him today but he is still with me always. I glance towards the silver band that lay on the ring finger of my right hand, and yet again I cannot stop myself from crying. Those little things he did for me, holding my hand when he senses I am scared, places a hand at the small of my back when he senses I am insecure about myself, the times he made me smile when I was on the verge of breaking down, the times he became the ear I poured my heart out to. He could easily look through me and tell me the right things. He gave me the courage to go on when there was no light, hell it is because of him I applied to the college I dreamt of studying in and today I received the acceptance letter. ‘Shoot for the moon so even if you lose you will at least be amongst the starts’ he always said. My days seemed brighter and night less fearful when he was around. I might appear to be a weak girl when I say this’ he became the reason for my smile’.
On his birthday I wanted to surprise him so I went to his place an hour early to the time we had decided to leave for school. When I knocked on the main door it moved open, which was strange for me as I thought why someone will leave their door open at 6am in the morning! I walked in and called for him but there was no response, moving in further I called for Mrs. Price and yet again silence was all that I received. I saw the light of the kitchen on so I went in there, there were papers scattered on the countertop, I don’t know what got into me then as I picked up a paper and started reading it. It was addressed to him; it was a medical report which stated he had a malignant tumor in his brain which left him with six months of life only. My world came crashing on me as my hands started shivering and the paper fell to the floor, my body went cold. Just then I saw Mrs. Price with Adrian walking in with her support, his body limp and face pale, there was no light in those green eyes when they started at me. I gave him an accusing glare as I took off from the house, not looking back even once. I let the tears fall free and regret, fear, love ran through my veins. I had skipped school for three whole days, locking myself in my room and crying into the pillow.
The other day my mom came up to my room and handed me the letter he left for me that morning. I was in two minds when I played with the rims of the envelope and fidgeting with my fingers a sign of my nervousness. After lot of fidgeting I finally opened it, there was scribbling in blank ink which read,
I am sorry you found out the way you did. I did not mean to keep it away from you but something inside me told me things will change if I told you and you won’t look at me the same way, I couldn’t risk it. I should have trusted you. I know it hurts badly and I am sorry I am the reason for it. It kills me to know that there are dried tear stains on your face right now. Don’t do that to yourself please. There is one more thing you should know, that day at the park when we first met it was not a co-incidence. I had been trying to confront you ever since I laid my eyes on you but I could not muster up the courage because I liked you and I felt you might leash out at me if I confessed. But when I came to know about my condition I thought I cannot go with the regret of never talking to you. And see where that day at park brought me to, I love you Tiya more than what words can describe. You made things a lot easier for me; you gave me a hope to live, to wake up every morning to go to school, more importantly to meet you. You have given me the best times of my life, don’t leave me now. I want to close my eyes listening to your laughter, which is the best sound in the world. I will pick you up at 7pm today, I want to take you somewhere, wear something that can keep you warm.
True to his words he had brought me to this cliff and breathed his last, now I know why he told me to wear something that can keep me warm, he knew he wouldn’t make it through, he knew I will come back alone. I came to this place every Sunday, it brought me closer to him, and I could feel him here. Today is probably my last day in this town; I am leaving for college tomorrow on the other end of the world. Leaving the past and this place behind but taking him along with me in my memories, because I love him too.