We have all heard this more than a dozen times, haven’t we? From elders to youngsters to fellow batch mates, we have all encountered people who judge women on the basis of certain habits they have, majorly being their smoking or drinking habits. Leave aside habit, even if they try it out once, or even think of trying, their so called “character” goes under trial. When I was young, say about in the beginning of my teenage years, I used to join the gossip and play along. But now being an adult, and coming across girls with such habits, and getting to know who they actually are make me realize what stupidity have I done judging those girls!
There is always a difference; difference between drinking and getting drunk to the amount that you lose control and start creating a scene. Drinking is not bad. Drinking and destroying the peace of your environment is bad. And there is a thin line which distinguishes the two. The only thing which we need to do is to make that thin line visible to ourselves when we are under the influence of alcohol, or tobacco.
It often surprises me realizing that when a group of boys smoke cigarettes publicly and no one catches an eye. But when a girl or a group of girls do the same, people act as if they have seen them naked on the streets! My question is what is wrong in it? You may give me the same old answers that it’s against the Indian culture and those entire stereotype statements. Nonsense! Firstly, that’s none of your business what other individuals choose to do, including males. Secondly, that doesn’t anyhow change their “character”, if that’s how you place it. “One should try everything in life” – this quote finally makes some sense to me after all this while. If you have experienced the majority of the things – got drunk, smoked, had sex, etc, and still remain the same person you are, by which I mean kind, generous and happy, you know that there is nothing wrong you have done. What would you prefer? A girl, who goes clubbing, drinks and smokes at a regular basis, but is very helpful, smiling and positive in nature or a girl, who instead of abiding by the so called “Indian culture” is rude and self centered?
Now, there is a purpose why I have chosen to bring up this topic. According to statistics, last year 1,35,445 suicide cases have been recorded in our country. The NCRB (National Crime Record Bureau) figures show that emotional and personal causes have driven most of the women to commit suicide, highest in 15-29 age groups. Now let me try to put this in the easiest way possible. A girl is seen smoking or drinking by a few known people. Those people, having nothing better to do in life (I’m really do not regret saying this), will spread the news to a few other people and somehow the word will hit straight to the ears of a family member. Next scene, family drama! “My daughter has spoilt!”, “You are definitely mixing with bad company!”, “What sort of friends do you have?”, “We can’t show our faces to the society anymore!”, “Such a shame you are to the family!”And finally, “I regret giving birth to you!”
It is unfortunate, but it is true. Now it may occur to you that it’s completely ridiculous. I’m sure it is! But alas, this is the usual scene in almost every house of the present youth. How would you feel if you are being said the same things? I don’t even expect you to place yourself in that situation because your imagination cannot be the exact as the reality. All these judgments and opinions have a very negative effect on the female psychology. Either they will develop a rebellious attitude or all their desires will be suppressed further. But both will ultimately lead to the same thing – insecurity, one of the roots of all mentally upset women. Then one thing leads to another, piling up of emotional wounds and boom! One day the volcano will burst and that’s doomsday for the rest of the people.
If you think that by this, I am supporting alcohol and tobacco addictions, you have taken the entire thing to an all new dimension. No matter what you do, you always have a choice. In case of such habits, we are old enough to make that choice. Now if a person moves out of track, you can always bring that person back to track. It’s up to you whether you do it through love and care, or through insults and violence.
Remember, average minds discuss people, good minds discuss events, but great minds discuss ideas. If you choose to have an average mind, then from a personal point of view, it’s such a waste. Times have changed. Now our mentality needs to change. Our country is in need of people who have a wider outlook, who have a good power of reasoning, who think outside the horizon of orthodoxy. Be the change. Make India a better place.