‘I can’t marry a rape victim; I have a life in society and belong from a reputed family’ said a young man who got to know that the girl he was about to marry had been raped.
Every time when the girl gathers courage to make a new beginning, someone or the other cut her wings with such humiliations. She wishes to live normal life of a girl but people keep reminding her that she had been raped. People start with sympathy but end with blaming the girl. The blame her friendly behavior, guy friends, clothes, etc. Things go worst when people even start blaming the girl’s parents for giving too much liberty.
So does being a girl means always staying isolated at home?
It’s sad that people demand a pure girl for marriage, pure in regards to virginity, they want the girl to be completely untouched and the girl who had been raped is said to have a stain carved up in her body for lifetime. We live in modern society with modern thoughts and ideas yet we judge a girl by her virginity. There might be reasons that she loved some guy who promised to marry her but later she might have got betrayed, but in case of rape who is to be blamed?
Rape is the only crime where the victim is held responsible not the rapist. People start setting a different perspective for the girl as well as her family and at times even start boycotting them in the society.
It’s astonishing that people don’t even care to help the girl when she gets brutally raped in front of a whole crowd. People stand forming a crowd but don’t save the girl from the horrifying situation. Blaming is definitely easy but taking responsibility and bringing change is what makes a real mankind. In 16 December case, the girl was left naked on the road for a long time, her friend begged people for cloths but nobody cared to help them.
‘Look there she is, the rape victim’ every time the girl steps out of her home she gets to hear such talks. Sometimes people even criticize the girl if she dares to steps out of her home after getting raped. If she goes out to some party they call her shameless, if she meets a guy, they say she deserved such circumstances. Likewise every time she dares to stand up people make her remember her past and tell her to sit down and remain at home for life long.
Being at home is neither the solution nor the answer to make people shut up.It’s strange that people take her example to tell their daughters not to be like her or else they may suffer similar situations in life, but nobody tells their daughter to a strong girl like her, be the heroine and fight for rights. A very less number of girls can challenge the society and begin a new life after getting raped rest all surrender their life immediately after such mishaps because they are not bold enough to face the society. It’s very shameful that even after suffering so much of trauma and facing a heinous crime like rape, it is the girl who still has to face humiliation from society and that kills her more. This is the major reason why girls tend to suicide after any such mishap.
Sexual harassment or assault can definitely shake every aspect of a person’s life, and healing out of it is really not an easy task, it’s like a nightmare. Physical hurts can often soon be mended, but inner pain takes the longest time. It puts a stain in her character for life long. It’s healing may take 25 to 50 years. Healing is not about forgetting about rape but it is about not letting those ill memories to haunt in present time.
It’s sad that in most of the cases girls are suppressed down, they are told to leave the state or city, not to tell anyone and make a new start, sometimes even family members get so society conscious that they ignore to the plight of girl and give priority in keeping mouth shut. People suffer but do not complain because they don’t want anyone else to know about that.
People must know that it is not the girl’s fault and she should not at all feel ashamed of anything, moreover she must ignite her voice and stay determined to get justice. Rapist must strongly feel their crime and they should be punished brutally and this could be only done if the girl stays determined. No mercy should be shown towards the rapist even if he is her family member.
People must encourage the girl to stay strong and must support her to face the trauma, she should be taken out to get some fresh air and make new experiences rather than keeping her isolated and making her recall the same instance again and again. She must be given good counseling and good environment around which may help in fast healing.
No matter whats going on, once the negatives and pain are replaced there will be a there will be brightness ahead.