She was in love with him – deeply and madly. every time she saw him she fell in love with him all over again. It had been 2 years she had known him now and all she could dream of was to spend the rest of her life with him. She grown and mature, a working woman , earning well and having all that was required to survive on this planet. She had had her own share of terrible experiences , she never regretted them but she only took them in stride and get over with them. To the world she was one strong woman , devoid of emotions and harsh- someone not easy to be with but she never really cared. She had two different personalities – one for the world and one in front of him , the real ” she”. She could be weak in front of him , cry in front of him, strong in front of him without the fear of being judged because that is all she had been facing over the years- being judged.
Being a woman was the toughest job she was doing she often told him. She was the first one to meet him and the last person to see him, they had regular coffee dates like every teenager in love. Things between them were way too obvious and not too hard to guess. They both knew it but their inability to act made the situations worse for them but as some people say as you grow up life becomes more complicated. Why exactly? Because you are expected to behave mature, all grown up. You just cannot really do whatever you want to do. There are certain norms laid down for you and you are expected to follow them and behave according to them.
But she often sat in silence, late, all tired with a relieving coffee mug in her hand imagining as to how long was all this going to go on for? How long will they have to hide their obvious love for each other? Every night she used to gather the courage to speak up her heart – to break these norms restricting her since past 2 long years and the next morning she would go weak, all scared and fearful. She would often imagine her life with him but brush aside the thought as soon as it came. Though all grown up she would still go weak in the knee’s whenever she saw him. His all suited up look appealed to her. The clean shave trimmed hair dimple cheeked look- she was in love with him. As for her, she was a really pretty lady, fair and she looked younger than her age. She was way too intelligent but broken.
The next day he called her in his cabin. He often did that sometimes just to see her. She knew it and it made her happy too , it gave her a clue that he needed her as much as she did. This time he called her for some work purpose . She often looked at herself in the tainted glass door before entering his cabin , he on the other hand noticed this and adjusted his tie. They exchanged formal smiles and she sat just in front of him. And while he discussed work she would take a peek at him in between and so did he. Sometimes their peeks collided and made them embarrassed and shy at the same time. She looked at him- he hadn’t shaved today. She noticed this and started finding answers as to why he did not. He had that charm in his eyes she couldn’t resist.
She had to say it to say it to him today, she thought in her mind rather strict. She wanted him and it was nothing wrong. She just really and badly wanted to tell him how she felt about him all this while, that how his one dimpled smile enlightened her day , how those silent coffee dates meant so much to her and most importantly how he gave meaning to her life all over again. She was jut really tired of ridiculing the idea of a 45 year old divorced woman being in love with her 50 year old unmarried boss.
People knew they had something already – they judged their character openly and in their heads too but do they really care about all this and let their love for each other suffer. “No” she finally shouted, almost gulped coming out of her revolutionary thoughts. He immediately got silent and worried totally unaware what she was thinking in her head. ” What’s wrong ? ” he asked worried. ” Enough”. She replied rather sternly. He was confused for this was probably the first time he was unable to make out what she was thinking. He tried hard though.
” I don’t want this ” she said hesitated. ” You don’t want what ? ” he asked in anxiety. ” I love you ” she finally said. It wasn’t that difficult she thought immediately after saying it. ” I want to spend the rest of my life with you ” she added. He hadn’t expected this, not even in the wildest of dreams. He was in a happy shock but all he could do was smile. The same dimpled smile she fell in love with. She got her answer for she smiled back at him. Her past could not let her hinder her future. She was not wrong and they both knew it.
“You are more courageous than me ” he said lastly with a wink.