Marriage: A necessity?

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According to Darwin we had a whole process of evolution. The then apes have become the intellectual humans of today. Back then, it was only food, shelter, and sleep that we really needed. However, in the present times we have expanded our needs to fit in our greed.   The consumerist world provides electricity, WIFI, TV, mobile phones, yada yada; and we “need” all of them. If we look from a perspective blurred by superficial-ness, maybe we do; but in reality, we have just become so dependent on these that the ‘need’ quotient is automatically generated ‘cause we think we can’t do anything without them. “To make something special, you should believe it is special,” and we believe these are special assets of the smart technology ‘revolutionising’ the whole world.


Such has the world come to that people are “Living to eat”, thriving on the virtual world, and the social scene has reduced to the vast networks of Facebook, Twitter and Myspace.
Well, that’s still okay. People have become lazy, and the technology can act as their super pet; but what I really don’t understand is that how is it a necessity for a woman to get married? In the past, during our forefather’s childhood days, it was considered as a need. Maybe, they were “backward” as some would say ‘cause giving excuses is what we do the best. However, how is it that in today’s developed scene, marriage is a need in most of the Indian parents’ opinion? This valuable opinion of theirs gains more momentum if the child is a girl.”We’ll give our daughter everything that she needs.” Marriage is definitely what she needs, so yes, she has to get married before twenty five ‘cause post that age is like entering the old age. Men won’t marry her then! What crap is this?
When the daughter opposes the marriage, she is emotionally blackmailed, which is nothing less than polite threatening; and if this doesn’t work, she is forced. The reason given is that she doesn’t know what she needs; but apparently in the long run she’ll understand how right her parents were in making the most important decision for her. It’s just that humans have this habit of adapting, and trying to stay happy. So, yes, in the long run she’d have definitely adapted, and would be trying earnestly to smile.

Indians boast about their rich cultural heritage, and how they have still preserved it. However, does this culture give us lenses that make women look weak? They might be weak physically, but that doesn’t mean they are not tough.  “If men can do it, so can women” is a very clichéd phrase of the 21st century, but do we really mean it when we’ve have thoughts reiterating the false statement of ‘ A woman needing a man to survive’ dangling in our brains?
Till she graduates she has her parents behind her, and after that she would have her husband, so she can survive. What bullocks?!
If a man can make his career after his studies, and when he has the choice of getting married when he wants, why can’t it be the same when it comes to women? We talk about equality and everything, well, now it’s the time to apply it.

My parents were having a conversation about my cousin when suddenly, my mum says, ”Oh! After that they’ll get her married.” Astonished I was; and gathering my wits, I asked my mum as to how she knew that my cousin would definitely get married. I put forward the whole ‘What if she has other plans’ theory. My mum ridiculed the theory ‘cause women need to get married. I definitely don’t stay in a village, and neither does my cousin, so when people say that this doesn’t happen in cities, it’s either that they don’t know anything, or it’s just that they enjoy lying.
I was always under the impression that we have moved forward with our thinking. There is so much focus on equality that it was just fair for me to think that parents marrying their daughter ‘cause she needs to get married is a thing of the past.

So, one day, I was talking to this amazing senior of mine. She sounded dazzled that she had got placed. I was happy for her; and then she told me something that shattered my whole outlook of this developed and advanced world. She was going to work for a year, and then get married to some guy, who matches her caste, and who is chosen by her father. “That’s the deal!” she said.
My whole world had come crushing down. Whatever I had been thinking all these years was only Utopian.
Hoping that this was one of a case, I started interrogating my other female friends. Most of them said they’d get married pretty soon. They could continue their education after the marriage, but tying the knot was a must. When I said that they could go against their parents ‘cause it’s their life, they made me understand that it’s not a Bollywood movie. They can’t go against their parents. To make things worse, some of them confessed that their families would give dowries ‘casue it has been in the tradition all along. So, just because our ancestors were under the wrong impression that women are less than men, we act like dumb driven cattle? I was stunned, speechless, and saddened.
The only thing that made me a little less disgusted was getting to know that my best friend had the liberty to get married when she wanted to. Her parents had no issues, as it was her life; so her wish was paramount.

The world we live in has monsters disguised as humans too; who do the most Satanic things to women. The society that we are a proud member of is prejudiced. Women bear the brunt; if not always, then most of the times. There is rape, acid attack, eve teasing, and kinds of stuff that a woman can be subjected to that the parents, who love their children, find it but apt to marry their daughters to a relatively good man, who would take care of her. Who shall protect her, and always be by her side. Well, that’s what the holy vows expect him to do.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and I respect that.  All parents do want the best for their children, so maybe, just maybe in all this there is something very important that is invisible to me; maybe I’d have to change my angle of view and then I would become an ardent supporter of all this.
However, for now, in my present opinion, everyone has a right to do what and when they want. Just because the outside world is pathetic doesn’t mean you need someone to rely on. Women are very tough. It’s just a misnomer circulated by the society that brands them as someone who can’t survive alone.
There are plenty of women who are more successful than men. I don’t care what the tradition says, but women can do wonders. The only thing that they really need is the basic need of staying happy. So, just because of some custom, fear, and old belief, let not the women suffer more. They already suffer a lot.

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