Having a conversation with my mother inspired me to write this article down, and somehow it cleared the way I thought about the difficulties and pleasures of motherhood and a woman. Motherhood is a great challenge that has to be accepted. The period of transition from being a person without responsibilities, to taking a care of a child and a family along, is something that needs some intense dedication.
Motherhood is not a hobby, it’s a calling. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what GOD gave you time for.
– NEIL L ANDERSON
So this how it starts.
Ma: you are always out of the house, you being the elder daughter of the family and a Muslim; you don’t even have a little blood of the family or being a Muslim in you.
Me: ma chill, don’t start all your philosophical bullshit again.
(She wouldn’t stop anyway).
Ma: how many times do I have to tell you don’t meet boys below the building get them up I want to see who u hangout with!
(The best part about my parents is that they’ve never stopped me hanging out with boys, and that is some reason why I don’t much like being with girls, they are pretty weird creatures you know!)
So, the other day I was telling mum that I don’t want to be a typical married women who has 3-4 kids, become a typical aunt and end up in the kitchen.
(And from here the real conversation started).
Ma: what do you think women are only fit for kitchens?
Me: yes! If you are a housewife you are only confined to that.
Ma: am sorry daughter, but your generation has a pretty absurd thinking, you have been raised by those generation people who are now, you think live in the kitchen of the house.
Ma: Making a decision to have a child is crazy it is decided for ever to have you heart walking around outside your body. A woman is made so strong that she can take any pain (a typical birth of giving birth she gave me here) it’s because of the women of the house that the house rests upon. The gift given by god to women is that she can take care of everybody with the same love and respect to every member in the house. She treats her husband’s parents as her own, she compromises sacrifices her small small happiness so that the house she lives in becomes a better place to live, and talking about the kitchen that’s where the family’s health belong, she stays in the kitchen so that she could provide you with the best of food. Leaving all her ambition she takes cooking as her passion, so that she could win over the family and give her kids the yummiest Food.
Ma: look at laxmi(our maid) she works the whole day at our house, manages you 3 kids , and after she goes home she takes care of her own family as well, she manages both of it beautifully, that’s the power god has given to every women, she survives through the toughest and comes out with flying colours in challenges given to her! She has the power of doing anything she wants, women have proven to be amazing entrepreneurs, cooks, corporate employees, sport players, name it and they have excelled in those fields.
I am sorry to say, you call our generation narrow minded but then look at you, you’ve got a more narrower thinking than me, according to you guys everything is fun, frolic and partying. You are yet to understand the tinge of seriousness in life and the beauty, experience and knowledge that life awaits to bring to you. The world is changing, change is always be constant, so it’s the way change is inhabited, there is no wrong in having fun all the time, and here comes the but, but with a little bit of maturity you’ll soon understand, what surprises life has for you. When you become a mother you’ll definitely think of all the things I said, and you’ll be like mom you were so right. Life won’t be fair always but when you have you family by your side the imperfectness would soon become perfect.
She walked away from my room, leaving me thinking! My well built glasses of palace of what a party animal a girl should be was shattered into pieces.
A much needed reality check was done.
Being a mother is not about what you gave up to have a child, but what you gained from having one. Being a mother is understanding your strengths and tackling those fears you never knew you had. It’s a beautiful experience every lady should go through.
Motherhood is close to divinity, it is its highest service to be assumed.
There is no perfect way to be a mother, every mother has different challenges, each situation is unique her abilities and skills are different, and certainly different children, in the end what matters most is the mother loves her child deeply.
“Happy mother’s day”