The role of a mother.
It’s a well-read and studied topic, but the relationship between a baby and its mother is still one of those mysterious topics that nobody has – as of yet – figured out.
Shrouded in the hints of magic and physiological riddles, the unfathomable attachment that a child has to its mother is an enigma handed down to us from time immemorial. Why are a mother and a child so closely linked? Is there even an answer to that question?
I think the answer comes in the way we are made. From our father the seed is brought, but in our mothers we are forged. We spend so long inside her womb that we are born into a symbiotic existence – her well-being is ours. Her mood becomes ours. Our mother’s body governs our very own, and somehow, we become mirror images of our mothers – like the sun and the moon.
It is a strange thing because it doesn’t always remain that way. Many children have nothing to do with their mothers and come out the spitting images of their fathers, or completely independent of both. Why that is? Again, a mystery.
What I do know is that when a mother and her child are close, it is a very difficult link to break. Even when awful things come between you, the farewell is not an easy one. It is a choice taken either in pain or down to some terrible deed that leaves us with no choice. Either way, it is not a pretty memory.
Part of this is because there is an inane yearning to understand and share your experiences with an older, wiser figure who takes great care of you. Even the most independent one of us does always like to have that person for themselves – whether or not they know it. That watchful presence over us gives us a sort of strength that only comes from validation and the knowledge that someone somewhere believes we’re right.
Many of the most powerful kings and presidents have never stopped lending their ears and thoughts to their mothers’ advice. That is because a valued opinion is something that never stops being valued – it is wise until and unless proven so. If our mothers make grave mistakes, we are shocked, and quickly understand that they’re humans too. If they repeat them often, we feel defensive of them. Somehow, some way, protecting your mother and being protected by her becomes a sort of shield-to-shield situation where you’re both watching out for each other. Its odd.
But not everybody has that kind of relationship with their mothers. With some people, the word “Mother” brings up memories of a warm, cursory smile and a rarely beaming face. But the relationship is still something that is only understood by the two of them, and it is something that can only ever be understood by the two of them. The link is much less physical then it is for other mothers.
But always, the key to having a stable relationship with your parents is candid honesty. Whilst that might not always work, it avoids lies. Lies are never bad until they create issues where there are none. Sometimes, instead of just telling someone something, we make a huge lie out of it; then they become emotional not because of the incident, but because of the tale weaved about it. Obviously there will be lies within any family, and some are all the more stronger for it.
What there must also be is a firm base of trust. Mothers afford a lot of value to “respect”. This is odd because different mothers have different ideas about what that is. From the strict headmaster who wants to be called “Mrs. Mom” to the criminal who tells her daughter to let her have her share of the money first.
No matter the circumstances, mothers always seem to bring up the concept. And in order to have a good relationship with yours, you need to understand what she means by that. So when she’s around, you need to allow your mother to tell you everything she wants to know and to vent her frustrations at you. It is important for a woman to have somebody to confide in, but much more so for a woman with children. They need to be able to tell anything to their friends, but most importantly, to their kids.
Learning to interact with a mother properly is also an undeniable contributor to the way in which you treat a woman. Not that you see every woman as your mother, but that you simply establish limits to how much you hurt her. Some things can’t be helped in life – heart-breaks are caused by both parties. What it does do is avoid you going out abusing and harassing women. It means you can value a woman, and that is a major part of the process leading up to treating them as equal citizens.
Therefore, I write this piece as dedication to all the mothers out there!