How many times have we females heard the endless and monotonous bickering of people around us, who try to change us? Do not wear such boyish clothes! Do not get your belly pierced! What on Earth possessed you to get your hair colored purple?!
Last summer, my friend got her hair cut as short as just below her ears and guess what? Yep, everyone who knew her (barring a few open-minded, free-spirited individuals) was shocked..or should I say bewildered? It was ridiculous to see how our society has standards for female appearances. What is so wrong in getting a boy cut? It does not make a female any less feminine than she already was!
Now, this was just one instance which makes me want to focus on my idea or topic. There are no rigid rules and regulations of how one has to behave, look and act. This is a free country and we all have the liberty to design our lifestyle according to our own will. More than the adult population, it is necessary for young adults and adolescents to get a grip of what they want. It is easier to give in to peer pressure and try becoming a mainstream puppet.
Don’t like going out too much? Stay at home. It is okay.
Don’t feel like drinking at a party? Eat what you like. It is okay.
Don’t want to wear such a short dress because it makes you uncomfortable? Wear what you like. It is okay.
Don’t want to engage in a conversation with someone? You don’t owe that person anything. It is okay.
See? There is an alternate solution to everything. I agree it is easier said than done, but if a sincere effort is made, no force in the world can stop you. You as an individual are the only one who is responsible to yourself. You don’t owe your sensibility, your pride and any explanation to anyone in the world. You decide what you desire and you alone decide your path.
Whoever made these views that red lipstick is sexy? Or using cusswords is unattractive? If it is unattractive, it has to be unattractive for everyone. If you like orange lipstick and use cusswords then hell yeah! So be it. So should you.
Like every coin has a second side, there is a flipside to this, too. I’m not saying that the world will always support you in your ways or being different is the key. Instead, being YOURSELF is the key. No matter what you do, your honesty to your true self is the most important thing. There is a well-known saying which goes like this –
“When in Rome, do as the Romans do”
Yes, it makes sense up to a certain degree but what next? It is possible to behave like the Romans but can one absolutely leave everything behind and be a Roman from heart and soul? No! One cannot leave their true self, their true essence behind, no matter what.
Be a lily in a rose garden, if you may but don’t be a plastic rose in a garden of fresh roses!
Since the ice has been broken and well established that you can be who you are, now I want to tell you how you can let loose and be the inner self you truly are.
Step 1: Recognize yourself
Self-recognition will take you places. You have to know who you are before someone else comes and tells you who you are supposed to be. If you are unaware of your own true self, you will always meander towards what others expect you to be.
Step 2: Don’t lie to yourself. Ever.
A person who lies to himself/herself, is already on the path of self-destruction. Nobody expects you to be honest about yourself to them but you owe that honesty to your own true self. Others will readily buy your load of lies but you will cringe every time as your lies to yourself drain your happiness out of your system.
Step 3: Accept yourself
Not many of us have the audacity to accept our shortcomings and flaws. This maybe the toughest step one can take to be themselves. Maybe if you stop whining about your weight in front of your friends, they will stop making jokes about it. Maybe, if you accept your figure and exude confidence, people will have a different outlook. And did you notice how the tables turned? Yes, according to you. According to your expression of yourself. According to your ACCEPTANCE of your true self.
Step 4: Correct yourself
If you cannot accept certain things about yourself, try to bend them, curve them, correct them. If you really want to focus on your work, or shed those extra pounds, try managing your lifestyle around it. Better yourself. Strive hard for what you want. If you don’t fight for what you want, what you need or what you desire…there is a cold hard truth: NO ONE ELSE WILL.
Step 5 : Calm down
Life is short. I’m sure you’ve come across this often used phrase and indeed it is true. Life is so short, there is no time to be someone else. It is so short, you barely have time to be your own self and if you dedicate that time to be somebody else, it is wasted. There is no mould to be adjusted in, no vessel to be filled. Calm down, it is okay to be yourself. There is only one you and thousands of others trying to be someone else. Cherish yourself.
I hope this made you think twice about who you are, if not made an influence. Being mainstream and fitting in according to society’s standards is overrated. The earlier we realize this, the more time we give our own true self to breathe, survive and grow.