Beauty,Grace,Femininity and poise are words that describe an “idol” woman.Well who has formed the basis for this idealWho Beauty,Grace,Femininity and poise are words that describe an “idol” woman.Well who has formed the basis for this ideal.Who can decide whats good or bad?Who is so perfect as to perfectly design the definition of perfection?being beautiful or being a pretty woman in its so called cliche definition is someone who has a slim- toned body,good height,fair skin,sharp features,perfect curves at the appropriate position and what not.The list of prerequisite for fitting into this definition is so long that only a few could fulfill it.In addition to all these comes the ideal qualities and characteristics a girl should possess to be socially admirable-polite,generous,submissive,dainty,soft-spoken etc., etc.These criteria’s are so hard to fit in that they force one to feel inferior and work around these notions,work to achieve the tag,work to be admirable,and most importantly,work really hard to fit in.
With changing times these definitions have undergone certain modifications but the basic structure remains to be as solid as ever.People’s perception has changed but their deep-rooted ideologies are still stagnant.There are families who believe in a girl’s independence,her education,her right ,in fact whenever they socialize they don’t miss a chance to mention how a girl is equivalent or even better than a boy.Yet when it comes to the conditioning of a baby girl their modernity takes a back seat,they ‘train’ her, yes exactly train her, to talk softly,sit properly,dress appropriately,do the daily chores,the training sessions seems to be endless as there is a new level of course at every stage of life-birth,school,college,marriage,motherhood.A girl should be obedient to her parents(well this one is still viable but only when parents are correct),marriage has to be parents decision,follow and obey your husband and the slaves job sees no end.That is why I said a girl is trained-because throughout her life she is forced and taught to follow orders of her masters-her parents,her husband,her in-laws.The system is so developed that areas as per gender are decided and enacted since birth.
Pink is girly,blue is masculine.Dolls are meant for girls,cars for boys.The childhood conditioning defines and dictates an individual throughout his/her life.My thought process(even if i deny it) is strongly affected by what my parents taught me-till date if my father does any household work, I tend to stop him,whereas i assume that all this is my mother’s and my duty.This assumed identity is what brings all the difference, I feel inferior at psychological level in areas which are termed to be boy’s expertise-like driving or the ‘heavy’ work,which I know doesn’t actually exist.I don’t say girls are better than boys but I surely agree that they are as good as them in every way.
The concept of femininity is so rigid that any deviations are socially humiliated.Any girl who is so called ‘boyish’, gets a piece of advice from every tom, dick and harry about how she should be and what she should be doing,for them wearing certain types of clothes make or break her personality.And for boys if they get even a tinge of the conceptual femininity they are termed as transgender or homosexuals.How can one’s clothes decide or point at their sexual interests?Who is anyone to comment on anyone else’s clothes or personality?
The funniest part is that the self proclaimed modern people are the one’s who have these derogatory ideas.Society makes these rules and we make the society so technically we make these rules i.e.we are the decision makers of what is what.So the need is to be modern just not in words but in thoughts and in actions.The only difference and specifications that are and should be there are the once that are biological- difference in terms of sex.Gender is what needs elimination as this is the actual reason behind femininity and that long list.No work,no color,no toy,no song,no nothing can be termed as girly or boyish ,it is like saying one cloud is female and another is male.This was weird ?right?so is the classifications of the society-there is no logic,no science nothing that could justify this conditioning.The society will have a view point at every single thing you do,if they have got nothing they will create it,point it and comment.so doing stuff as per their guidelines is a sheer waste of time.The decisions of one’s life are one’s own,nobody should interfere until and unless you ask for it.Wear the clothes you like,or don’t wear if you want to,talk the way you want,shout if you desire,eat or gorge,walk or run,have long hair or flaunt your bald head,wear makeup or grease,do what you feel like doing and care for nothing else ,because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the beholder we just talked about needs an eye check.