Once upon a time, a mother’s brief was straightforward.
She had to educate her young daughter in the finer arts of cuisine – she had to make sure she was always well-groomed and pretty. She had to make sure her daughter could clean and satisfy her man, and if she did these things, she was a good mother.
The reality of our progressive world is now much more complex. As any young mother out there would know, raising a girl in this hectic technology age is a near-impossible task. Outside influences keep butting into the education she’s being given, and sometimes even your own ability to turn your young bud into a blooming flower comes into doubt. What kind of clothing should I buy her? What school should I put her in? What do I tell her about men? Should I ask my mother for help? Is her father a good person to have around her? Should I stay with my boyfriend or is her bad for her? How should she see me!?!
So many questions ring around a mother’s head today, and not all of them have easy answers. For sometimes, the right answer isn’t obvious. Sometimes, wrong decisions may lead to devastating psychological trauma for a child – right decisions may make her a queen amongst mankind. Sometimes, asking for help will relieve the stress. Sometimes, the help will ruin her future. So how do you do it, you may be wondering? Well, first of all, you need to accept that you are no longer your own person. Finally, after all those years of being independent and free, of being your own woman and paying for your own mistakes, the time has come for you to begin settling down. Not in a geographical sense, but in a social sense. You need to start selecting acquaintances and friendships that’ll benefit your child. You need to buy things that will benefit your child. You need to think about your child’s future. Not that you’ve become a slave or are being burdened by your child, but because you’ve taken a step in a new direction. We all make similar sacrifices when we are chasing a goal, and whether or not the cuts in life are pleasant, they are necessary.
You see, to a child, “mother” is the most powerful word in the world. You are a performer on a stage, and your every twitch and expression is being closely monitored by a little machine that’s going to copy your every move and decision. You’ve become a legend and an inspiration, and you need to act the part. The key to it all is being truthful and honest whilst also being reserved and contemplative. You need to think things out carefully and execute them carefully, because your child will probably repeat the same mistakes you make. It is not uncommon for daughters of abusive husbands to end up with men just like their mothers. Not to blame the mothers, who each have unique conditions, but this is a good example of how the wrong decisions can haunt your child later on. Your daughter will seek to emulate your dress code and your behaviour – she thinks you’re the coolest! So you need to set a good example for her to follow. You need to communicate your thoughts and ideas with her and help her understand why she should not be a silly girl prime for exploitation, but a strong, independent women. You need to show her how different women have broken the boundaries of culture and tradition and gone on to make it as successful, independent figures.
Time has to be spent with your young fairy discussing the subtle nuances of being a woman; the looks, the brains, the hands-on approach to life. Your daughter needs a guide in her image, and that’s why some things are up to you as a mother to explain – her father can’t teach her how to put on her make-up! Her father will also find it difficult to explain to her which charming men are just liars too!
But to do all these things, you need to know them yourself first. There is no logic in explaining something to your young girl if you have absolutely no knowledge about it.
So spread your horizons. Travel, read and create art.
Meet people, eat new food and make new drinks!
Make sure you are the richest (in terms of your experience) person you can be, and pass all of that on to your young child. Employ censorship, mild constraints and common sense when sharing your experience, but make sure that you and your daughter can establish a serious, honest rapport with each other. Encourage her to do the same with you; to have an honest, supportive lap to cry on and be listened to.
The importance of a personal link with her mother is incalculable to a young girl. It can mean the difference between success and failure in today’s harsh world.
So for all the young and/or single mothers out there, do not despair! You can be the best mother for your child, but you will need to work hard.
It promises to be a gratifying, fun ride!