Renee DeVesty – I am not a Rape Victim but a Rape Survivor (Part I)

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I was goggling about women; at that time I found a description which stated “I am not a Rape Victim, but a survivor”. These lines caught my eyes and I wanted to know more about what these lines really meant. When I read the content in the page, I was shocked, confused and terrified. I wanted to share this with others also.

This is Renee DeVesty’s story, which happened 12 years ago. She was 19 years old when she was raped and that too by an acquaintance. She says that she will not believe any man thereafter. She had gone for an overnight trip to her Best friend’s camp, on a lake, in New York. There were 10 friends in total, and all were 19 years of age. She says that all the 9 were very close to her as they went to school together and lived nearby and they knew each other for the most of their 19 years. She, in her ride was accompanied by her Best friend and her husband. They married young because he joined the Navy. Those two people live out of town, but come together with friends when he comes home on leave. They got to the camp, and her friend told her to take the room in upstairs because that was the best, and also others would sleep on the floor, in the hall. She was excited and put her things upstairs and then wore her swimsuit and left to the lake. She says that the legal drinking age in New York State was 18, and so they drank on and off all day, and then went in for a ride in boat. They enjoyed their time in the deck. She wasn’t a prone drinker, but was tired after being in the lake and deck all day, she was the first to go to bed.

She was sleeping alone in the bed, upstairs and all her friends were in the lake enjoying their party. Her friend came back after the party and was sleeping downstairs on the floor. After sometime she started to feel some pressure below her naval. She opened her eyes to see her best friend’s husband standing over her with one hand clamped on my mouth, while he held her with other hand. It was in the middle of the night, and at first she thought that it was a dream and after shear pressure and pain she realized that it was reality. She couldn’t move a muscle, as he was a big guy, and also she was frozen and intimidation. Her buddy, whom she has known from long back in her life, was on her holding her down and grabbing her inner wear. It did not make any sense, psychologically. He did that without any noise and she realized that she was being raped by her buddy. She was not able to react or make a sound. She was paralyzed at that moment of time.

It was over soon and her buddy walked out of the room and warned her not to say anyone about the incident, and if she said, he would deny and change the attention of her friends on her. She was terrified and thoughts of shame, disgust and fear was all around her, as she was raised in a strict Catholic. She was angry with herself, and thought that she might have encouraged him to do like this. She did not sleep the whole night, her head was spinning and her stomach had physical sickness. She was hurt mentally and physically. She did not have sex before this incident and the blood around her, horrified her even more.

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She woke up the next day and went downstairs to see her attacker and her best friend in the kitchen. Her best friend seemed to be normal, but the attacker was staring at her. She understood the look in his face and did not make any issue on this. She was not able to say about this to her Best Friend because she loves him so much and will not believe if she said like that. Without speaking a word she packed her things and rode back home along with the rapist. She blamed herself for the rape and thought to herself, if she had slept down stairs or if she hadn’t wore the swimsuit, she would not have got his attention and this wouldn’t have happened. She decided not to tell anyone about the incident and kept it within her.

The nightmare was not over, a few months later, she came to know that she was pregnant. She was shocked and terrified again and she had the same feeling she experienced on the night of the rape. She was not able to tell anyone and was suffering a lot because of this. As she was a strict Catholic, she convinced herself by think that god had punished her. But she did not know what to do with the post result of the nightmare. She felt enormous shame and guilt. She could not even tell this to her friends because they would not believe her after two months from the incident. She felt a lot from the doing and was hurt mentally and physically. She did not know what to do and because of fear, disgust and shame, she decided to terminate the pregnancy.

This is how Renee was raped and cheated by her acquaintance. This incident will surely make any women of her age on the darker side, but she has come out this situation.

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