What is it, with us women, and romance? Why do we spend hours reading that particular romance novel, or watching a romantic comedy? How is it that we can quote dialogues between the protagonists, because we have read that book or watched that movie nearly a 100 times, and we are still not bored of it? What is it with cheesy dialogues, and a big bouquet of roses, or a walk on the beach, in the moonlight, or even a “down-on-one-knee proposal”, that gets our heart racing?
I am sure these questions have been asked by men and women alike, many many times. Though not every woman is a romance-addict, but I am sure I speak here, for the majority of the fairer sex. We love romance in any form- novels, movies, songs, or in the form of gestures made by our partners.
But what is romance? According to Wikipedia, “Romance is the expressive and pleasurable feeling, from an emotional attraction towards another person associated with love. In the context of romantic love relationships, romance usually implies an expression of one’s strong romantic love, or one’s deep and strong emotional desires to connect with another person intimately or romantically.”
But why are we ‘addicted’ to romance? According to an article i had read a year back, our brain reacts to love or romance in the same way it reacts to ‘cocaine’. So the feeling of being addicted to our partners, and being love-struck actually has an explanation behind it. And so does feeling giddy when in love, and the heart-ache we feel when we have problems in love, or when our heart is ‘broken’. “Dopamine”, “Oxytocin” and “Serotonin” are released in our brain, which make us experience the feelings of happiness, obsession, pleasure, ecstasy, euphoria, craving, recklessness etc. So being on “cloud nine” when in love is literally being “high”!!
But really? Why does someone else’s love story appeal to us so much? Why do we shed tears when the lovers part, or why are we elated when they “live happily ever after”? Is there any deeper explanation to this, or is it just a momentary emotion we feel?
In an age where we are so busy with our individual lives, be it with work, or with chores at home, or any other priority, reading a novel, or watching a movie where two people, who are in love, take that special time out for each other, makes us feel happy. We, as women are highly emotional, and we really enjoy spending those special moments with someone we love, but in today’s fast-paced life, where it is a challenge to keep the money coming, there isn’t enough time.
Nowadays, conversations and phone calls have turned into text messages, or messages on Facebook and Twitter etc. And love-letters? Goodness, they are extinct! That is why when we read love-letters, or poems which a lover has written for his beloved… or watch him sing her a song, it makes us all teary.
Women love being pampered. And the fictional heroes love pampering their beloveds. So we try to feel the love, when we see her getting surprises, or read about how he made that dinner special for her. Also the man seems to be smitten by his lover, or maybe the woman is smitten by the man of her dreams. Their excitement and nervousness, as if reminds us of the time when we felt that way.. that giddiness, that state of not wanting to eat, or drink, not wanting to sleep, but yearning to meet our darling lover! That excitement and frenzy of being in love.. oh! It is making me smile like a fool while I am typing this, as well.
Many of us go about our busy schedules, without having the time to just sit back and relax. We are used to doing our work mechanically, and we have very little time to enjoy. Reading a romance novel, or watching a romantic film, relaxes our nerves after a hard day at work. It releases our emotions from our outer “robots”. It makes us feel…love, passion, ecstasy, and heart-ache.
We women, love looking for happiness in the books we read or the movies we watch. We love believing that there is a happy ending for each one of us. And when we see it getting tougher in our lives, we look towards books and movies as a release. Stories of deep emotional, and physical closeness and intimacy is a ready change from our mundane and boring reality. We women, at times, feel a lack of attention from our partners, and to fill the void in our lives, we look towards fictional “knights in shining armours” or the “Prince charming, riding a white horse” to sweep us off our feet. Romance novels and romantic movies, make us more optimistic and hopeful. It removes the cynicism from our lives. It makes us root for the misunderstood hero, and makes us weep for the lonely princess, it makes us angry at the interference of the villain, and it gets us excited for the duel between the hero and him. It makes us want to dance with joy at the victory of the good guy, and makes us cry at the union of lovers. So basically we women are addicted to romance because we want to be the heroine, and have our own “happily ever after”.