I often say,”little pebbles collectively make a mountain.”You could have as well said,”every drop makes a sea.” Yes,I can use the clichéd sentence,but a sea is essentially very different from a mountain.A mountain is a sign of a huge, invincible and ancient structure.And the sea isn’t huge? It is!But,it in some ways is vincible and is a denotation of freshness instead of being stale.
I am not keen on talking about the nature and it’s elements, I am keen on talking about it’s constituents,instead. We as a society are very much like a mountain which wouldn’t be all that huge without the pebbles,gigantic rocks, boulders and an additional heap of soil here and there. We believe in suppressing(or,compressing,depending on one’s viewpoint) our problems.Problems?
Problems are inevitable when women are part of the equation.No,we aren’t the root cause of the problem,we are just caught up and are often subjected to these problems.The root cause is the ‘supress’ psychology’.
Girl child molested? Hush hush
Wife mentally abused at workplace? Say a silent prayer of thanks that it wasn’t physical.
Daughter physically abused?It was fated to happen,let’s not begrudge fate.
Dowry? No,that’s for the security of our daughter. Husband cheating? All men are dogs.He would find his way back home once he gets tired of her.
This is ‘supress psychology’.Dealing with issues or even naming an instance with ‘issue’ is an issue for a society which believes in sweeping everything under the carpet.Eventually everybody would either forget about it or things would take its own course,right?Making a hoopla over something which has already taken place cannot undo the wrong act,right?
Yes,while all of the above reasoning seems logically correct,the need to prevent or the idea of punishment should be a part of this logic,as well(part would be too small a part,it should be a major share around which other logical reasoning should revolve).
But, why do we supress something which should be brought out for the public’s viewing? My theory is this-we are the successors of Ostriches.We love to hide our faces byway of digging our head into holes.In unfavourable situations,when questions are bandied around,a hidden face or tight-lippedness assures no question being targeted one’s way(even if they come one’s way,they would be met with silence).
But we love to talk,why don’t we have answers and guts to face these questions? Blame it on the supress ideology. Not having grown up in an environment where women are as competitive as men,where talking about sex is not considered to be a taboo and where a woman’s hymen isn’t directly associated with the family’s standing in the society has made them insufficient in answering such questions.So,the best way out is to keep quiet and ask the victim to follow their lead.Eventually the victims are marinated in these gibberish spices and end up to be the same dish as the suggestion givers. But,does it really help?The suppression,compression and hush hush business.
Do I even have to reply to that?We all (most of us) have a first hand experience of the ugly repercussions of suppression.The more one tries to stop the spurting spray of the so called shame,the more ferocious the spurt of crime becomes.Failing to bring these ‘issues’ in the viewing point of the public and law plants seeds of sureness in the assailant’s mind.They develop a cocky attitude and the result of which we see in our day to day lives in different degrees.
Who decided shame and fame?Who decided the constituents of both the categories?Why is it ingrained in our society like the very air we breath?The most plausible reason I can think of is our need to be respected.Women since olden days have been treated as a commodity in various patriarchal society around the world.A family is blessed to have a ‘good’ woman and is cursed in case of a ‘not so good’ woman.lnfact,livestock,woman and other valuables were often said in a breath. One can blame the master if the livestock wanders or isn’t tamed properly.In the same manner,the master(sick mentality,I know)is to be blamed if the woman goes awry(which according to their belief is the main reason of all sorts of crime against woman).And,which master would like to put his reputation at stake?
I distinctly remember reading V.S Naipaul’s ‘The Mystic Masseur’ in which the lead character beats up his wife to ‘tame’ her (Yes,those were the very words used for a shameful act such as that.But, let’s not blame the author as his character and their characteristics had the mentality of people in the real world which he effectively portrays through his work). Over the years we have developed,but our mindsets haven’t (Yes,there are few who are sane and have grown up to be better individuals,but not all). We(women) still have the ‘as the master says,I shall do’ mentality.The masters(family,friends and acquaintance ) have the ‘staff in hand’ mentality. Ill happenings are a sign of insufficient training on the master’s part(both the assailant’s and the victim’s). Solution-to save face,hide face! Needless to say,this is the most ineffective way of dealing with any situation.Ineffective in uprooting the problem and the problem makers,ineffective for the victims and their recovery process, ineffective for the society all in all which eventually makes it’s inhabitants insensitive.We are heading to become a treeless mountain where landslides are very common. A society with the same fate as this mountain should frighten us all.Let’s ‘man up’ and deal with the problem and problem makers.