marriage is when two people decide and agree upon living together for the rest of their lives and legalize it through procedure.One can get married in a court room with two witnesses and still live happily ever after.That was marriage but what is wedding?If we talk in our Indian sense then marriage is the loud,big ,extravagant and over the top event organised to celebrate this union of two people and two families.
The celebration of a typical ‘big fat Indian wedding’ are impossible to explain in words, the festivity ,the love,the togetherness and the fun are unmatched,but another thing that is a addition to it is the pompous or what we call the ‘sho-sha’.We have to enjoy but everybody has to know we are having a blast,every thing has to be larger than life,just like a typical Karan Johar movie.Big venue,100’s of variety of food,super expensive gifts,designer dresses,all the glitter and gold and every possible thing on earth is what makes today ‘nice wedding’.No family is interested in dowry, they are strictly against it,but a ‘nice wedding’ is a must,if you give something out of love we would honor and accept it,car is just a symbol of the parents love to daughter-you love her right?.
Things have changed in one sense and just stagnant in another.Marriage is a union,but the celebration-the wedding is a business deal.It is like when a company enters a business contract they hold a party and celebrate it.Weddings are sheer business where grooms parents are the over-takers, so they take away all they can.
Getting a girl is never enough,getting an educated girl who shall earn and spend on your family isn’t enough either.The bride’s parents are mules,they work hard throughout their lives,earn money,restrict their expenses,suppress their wishes just so that one day a guy would come take away their daughter and all that they had ever had,what else do they live for?just to serve the groom’s parents.their lifelong dream is to give away their life’s earning along with their daughter to a incompetent groom,who cannot begin his life without charity from his in-laws.
Dowry incidents have lowered these years but is this decrease just in figures or for real?I actually don’t know the truth or the exact thing,but for what i know is that the dowry is no more dowry its is presents,token of love and respect that a bride’s parents give to the groom’s family.The title ,the tag has changed but the burden remains the same.It is shown as if the parents do it out of will and love but is this the reason?The pressure from society and family and the maintenance of their so called reputation are the actual reasons for the ‘presents’.
The larger than life weddings area medium to show your ‘standard’,to show what you have got and spend all that you have got to show it,this whole concept seems stupid-Just for one celebration,one night or maximum a week,families spend all of their savings.Inviting everybody and anybody you know.Having different types of cuisines to eat from and waste 3/4th of it.This is wrong from head to tail,the wastage is depressing and the concept is annoying.Relationship is between two people, two individuals and most importantly two equals,but here the case is not the same.The girl her family has to be perfect in every which sense,she needs to excel in every area,whereas the boy just needs to be a human being(which sometimes he fails to achieve).After all the qualities she holds,she is the one who needs to bend and adjust.
All the extravaganza is not needed,it is a union of two equals and they should be treated as equals, ‘presents’ as token of love are not the bride’s family’s duty,does the groom’s family not love their in-laws.Some changes are a must and if the changes cannot happen and the groom is so shallow as to sell himself for money and gifts and car,then the least he can do is go and stay with his new owner,his in-laws as technically he is being bought by them.A guy with a little self-respect would know that all the pomp is waste and is not a symbol of their high standard but a stamp of his sale.So for all those boys who are not on sale and have even a hint of self-respect please keep in mind, renamed dowry will bring you shame.
One last word of advice to the bride’s parents,your girl is the biggest and the best thing you can give to anybody,well dont give it to anybody,but the point is don’t feel burdened or pressurized by the society to do what you should not.give what you want to give but not what you have to give.give all you want when not asked for,but don’t give your girl to the idiot who asks for materialistic gifts from you.