This article is not about women. This article does not want you to help women. This article doesn’t aim at instilling sisterhood. This article is about India. Yes, India, the only country with a ‘culture’, the only country with ‘maa-behan’ (mother-sister) and the only country with respect for elders. Every time a foreigner says something against our mother nation we become defensive. The movie ‘Namastey London’ at times makes me feel sorry for Akshay Kumar, more often for the director, because beside Indian languages, Geometry and Aryabhatta he could not count any achievements of this country. Are the citizens safe? Are the women respected? Are the people well fed? Are the students well educated? Not even the best University (Delhi University) seems to be sure about its syllabus. Every question above was answered in negation and yet we are this great country, aren’t we?
You must be confused as to why is this girl being so anti-Indian. Well I won’t deny that I hate this country (obviously not more than I hate my gender). If you want to know why I hate my gender then you should read my article, ‘I wish I were a man’. As for the other question, I hate the country because I am not safe, not happy, not educated and not employable here. This anger has been broiling inside me since ages and today I just could not take it. My neighbor, a woman in her early 40s was followed by an anonymous car throughout her way home. The car drove at her pace while the men inside this car made every offending comment they could think of. Mind you, I am being very decent in using the words ‘offending comment’. They made humiliating gestures, wolf whistled and kept following her all her way.
I know where your mind goes; what was she wearing, how does she look like, what was she doing outside her house alone, what time was it, why did she not complain to the police etc. It is impossible for me to ‘not’ answer these questions because we ‘cultured’ people believe in seeing at all the possible scenarios before blaming anyone because maybe these men were innocent and the woman might be trying to frame them or maybe I am trying to get a spicy article. So, here are my replies:
Q. What was she wearing?
A. She was wearing a suit with a dupatta and sports shoes.
Q. How does she look like?
A. She is a short-stout woman with a fair complexion and small face also a mother of a 12-13 year old.
Q. What was she doing outside her house alone?
A. She went to buy vegetables. You know, people need food to survive and we find that in the market not everybody has a backyard to grow everything for their needs.
Q. What time was it?
A. It was 4-5 pm in the afternoon.
Q. Why did she not complain to the police?
A. The only question I feel like answering. I don’t know if you have read many newspapers about the behavior of police against eve teasing or molestation. Half the police force does not want to get involved in such cases and if they do then it’s a headache of regular police station trips for the complainer. Even if you bear all this, the goons are not just some poor strange men but some rich ‘jatts’, rich with sudden jump in property prices. They’ll pay their way out and might make the complainer’s life worse. Beyond all this is the humiliation, the pain and the desire for all this to stop.
Result of all this is that the woman no more travels on foot. She either drives to the market which is not even 10 minutes from the house or doesn’t leave the house. This isn’t it. Everyone in the society is in safety mode. No woman leaves the house but just far enough to be with the colony. The daughters are forbidden from cycling, walks or travelling at all without their parents. I imagine myself and all these women as a pack of deer that travel together or hide out in fear of the wolves that might do worse than kill us.
Why is this happening? Why even after the upheaval of 16th December nothing as changed, in-fact from my point of view it is getting worse. If anybody says BJP or Congress or for that matter names any political party, you can please stop reading this article right now. You people love making facebook statuses against or for some particular political party in anger when you can use that time into doing something constructive. Do you think you can change one person’s political leanings just by a facebook status and 500 friends?
Anyway, without digressing much, after much deliberation my point of view regarding the reason for this rise in monstrosity and decline in our safety is because of men starting to believe that nobody can do anything against them. Girls are raped and hanged in UP and their families are threatened against speaking out, college girls continue to cringe at every site of men standing around or inside their colleges, women continue to get unknown calls or messages and no street is safe even after lakhs of people came on streets to fight against this inhumanity. Why? Because no matter how much we protest, such monsters believe that if they rape, nobody will complain; if somebody complains, the case won’t be lodged; if the case is lodged, they can just bribe the officers; if the officer is decent, they’ll just run off and come again; if they are caught, the case will keep stretching for years and he’ll get a bail or the girl will take back the case out of the humiliation she faces. It is a vicious circle and no, I am not against women who do not lodge complaints. We are taught to not look in the eye of strange men while walking on the road, keep our head bent and walk quickly when we are alone. The society doesn’t accept a woman who is raped, the society accuses the woman who is molested, and the society doesn’t believe that its son could do something like that because it is always a woman’s fault. It is the ‘fault in our stars’ that we were born women.
If a guy stares at a woman or whistles at her or eve tease her, he is seen proudly among his friends because for weak men the only way to assert their power dominance and worth is by preying over women (not all but many). They cannot change suddenly because we are in pain or because I am writing this article. They might fear the police if the right actions are taken but we need to move beyond that. Teach you sons to change and respect women because if you do not, either all women will leave the country or hate every man in this society to such an extent that I can see a gender war not far in the future. At times even I wish I carried a gun with me and could shoot any guy who tried to abuse his penis or the law (which ironically is on his side). But, alas, I fear that if I accidentally kill him or even hurt him, the police will certainly put me behind bars, ruin my career forever. No guy fears this.