I will be imprisoned if I shoot a rapist

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This article is not about women. This article does not want you to help women. This article doesn’t aim at instilling sisterhood. This article is about India. Yes, India, the only country with a ‘culture’, the only country with ‘maa-behan’ (mother-sister) and the only country with respect for elders. Every time a foreigner says something against our mother nation we become defensive. The movie ‘Namastey London’ at times makes me feel sorry for Akshay Kumar, more often for the director, because beside Indian languages, Geometry and Aryabhatta he could not count any achievements of this country. Are the citizens safe? Are the women respected? Are the people well fed? Are the students well educated? Not even the best University (Delhi University) seems to be sure about its syllabus. Every question above was answered in negation and yet we are this great country, aren’t we?

You must be confused as to why is this girl being so anti-Indian. Well I won’t deny that I hate this country (obviously not more than I hate my gender). If you want to know why I hate my gender then you should read my article, ‘I wish I were a man’. As for the other question, I hate the country because I am not safe, not happy, not educated and not employable here. This anger has been broiling inside me since ages and today I just could not take it. My neighbor, a woman in her early 40s was followed by an anonymous car throughout her way home. The car drove at her pace while the men inside this car made every offending comment they could think of. Mind you, I am being very decent in using the words ‘offending comment’. They made humiliating gestures, wolf whistled and kept following her all her way.

Eve-Teasing

I know where your mind goes; what was she wearing, how does she look like, what was she doing outside her house alone, what time was it, why did she not complain to the police etc. It is impossible for me to ‘not’ answer these questions because we ‘cultured’ people believe in seeing at all the possible scenarios before blaming anyone because maybe these men were innocent and the woman might be trying to frame them or maybe I am trying to get a spicy article. So, here are my replies:

Q. What was she wearing?

A. She was wearing a suit with a dupatta and sports shoes.

Q. How does she look like?

A. She is a short-stout woman with a fair complexion and small face also a mother of a 12-13 year old.

Q. What was she doing outside her house alone?

A. She went to buy vegetables. You know, people need food to survive and we find that in the market                             not everybody has a backyard to grow everything for their needs.

Q. What time was it?

A. It was 4-5 pm in the afternoon.

Q. Why did she not complain to the police?

A. The only question I feel like answering. I don’t know if you have read many newspapers about the behavior                          of police against eve teasing or molestation. Half the police force does not want to get involved in such cases                               and if they do then it’s a headache of regular police station trips for the complainer. Even if you bear all this,                                 the goons are not just some poor strange men but some rich ‘jatts’, rich with sudden jump in property                                           prices. They’ll pay their way out and might make the complainer’s life worse. Beyond all this is the                                                humiliation, the pain and the desire for all this to stop.

Result of all this is that the woman no more travels on foot. She either drives to the market which is not even 10 minutes from the house or doesn’t leave the house. This isn’t it. Everyone in the society is in safety mode. No woman leaves the house but just far enough to be with the colony. The daughters are forbidden from cycling, walks or travelling at all without their parents. I imagine myself and all these women as a pack of deer that travel together or hide out in fear of the wolves that might do worse than kill us.
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Why is this happening? Why even after the upheaval of 16th December nothing as changed, in-fact from my point of view it is getting worse. If anybody says BJP or Congress or for that matter names any political party, you can please stop reading this article right now. You people love making facebook statuses against or for some particular political party in anger when you can use that time into doing something constructive. Do you think you can change one person’s political leanings just by a facebook status and 500 friends?

Anyway, without digressing much, after much deliberation my point of view regarding the reason for this rise in monstrosity and decline in our safety is because of men starting to believe that nobody can do anything against them. Girls are raped and hanged in UP and their families are threatened against speaking out, college girls continue to cringe at every site of men standing around or inside their colleges, women continue to get unknown calls or messages and no street is safe even after lakhs of people came on streets to fight against this inhumanity. Why? Because no matter how much we protest, such monsters believe that if they rape, nobody will complain; if somebody complains, the case won’t be lodged; if the case is lodged, they can just bribe the officers; if the officer is decent, they’ll just run off and come again; if they are caught, the case will keep stretching for years and he’ll get a bail or the girl will take back the case out of the humiliation she faces. It is a vicious circle and no, I am not against women who do not lodge complaints. We are taught to not look in the eye of strange men while walking on the road, keep our head bent and walk quickly when we are alone. The society doesn’t accept a woman who is raped, the society accuses the woman who is molested, and the society doesn’t believe that its son could do something like that because it is always a woman’s fault. It is the ‘fault in our stars’ that we were born women.

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If a guy stares at a woman or whistles at her or eve tease her, he is seen proudly among his friends because for weak men the only way to assert their power dominance and worth is by preying over women (not all but many). They cannot change suddenly because we are in pain or because I am writing this article. They might fear the police if the right actions are taken but we need to move beyond that. Teach you sons to change and respect women because if you do not, either all women will leave the country or hate every man in this society to such an extent that I can see a gender war not far in the future. At times even I wish I carried a gun with me and could shoot any guy who tried to abuse his penis or the law (which ironically is on his side). But, alas, I fear that if I accidentally kill him or even hurt him, the police will certainly put me behind bars, ruin my career forever. No guy fears this.

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I know this might sound cruel or frightening but I wish I had the power to kill every rapist or molester or eve teaser. I wish I did not have to write this article and never this last Para.

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  • http://inspiringandinnovating.org/ Karan Khanna

    Wow! Feminists. I really won’t comment here.

    • Utpala Rai

      Thanks! for the Comment!

  • FreedomForTheWorld

    I understand all your points and they’re absolutely valid but you’ve got to understand that the problem isn’t just men in India or men anywhere. The problem is that the current law systems around the world are not stringent or just enough to deal with rapists, and that society as a whole is way too lax and laid-back to deal with their issues.

    In reality, what is needed is a much larger degree of openness towards the issue. People are too afraid or unwilling to discuss social issues (leading to ignorance) and are too afraid or unwilling to act upon social issues (leading to transgressions of the law).

    When we as a species can begin to fulfill our own hype and actually sit at a table and explain to our kids what corruption, murder and rape are and what they mean to the human race, then we’ll start somewhere. Once we adequately punish them for doing it, then we’ll be half-way through.

    Despite what you may think, not all men are sex-crazed beasts. But criminals are criminals everywhere, even if they’re females, so you need to look at it as a bigger picture.

    • Utpala Rai

      Hey, I am not anti-every-man, it’s just a frustrated voice of a common woman who could not take it any more. Not all men are “sex-crazed beasts”, i too have male friends and this article is obviously not aimed at them.
      If a normal citizen says he will vote for a PM who reduces the price of LPG and food for him, doesn’t mean that the citizen is selfish and doesn’t care about the society as a whole.
      Yes, the law is at fault…I agree and after 16th December, i hardly see any change. Plus, a country with issues of food, clothing, shelter and education plus a politics which revolves around religions and caste, women and their security takes a back seat.
      Yes, a much larger degree of openness is really necessary and hence you find so many articles or discussions over these issues. People are changing but unfortunately the pace is too slow.
      I even doubt if the real sex crazed men read such articles but if all the other population (be it men and women) do read such angry out bursts they do consider it for a moment. This moments consideration has the power to change the present scenario.
      We talk, we shout, we discuss and then comes a solution.

      • FreedomForTheWorld

        I agree completely with you, especially on the point that things are changing way too slowly.

        We know the problem, we know the solutions but they’re not being implemented – why is that? Because, as you said, we’re all a little bit too worried about other things. But I also think that while sometimes, going on an admittedly well-articulated rant is the best way of achieving impact and directness, it sometimes leads to misunderstandings.

        As is obvious, rapists and paedophiles are merely amused by protests and complaints, but what if we were to seek the root of the rape and weed it out from there?

        You see, isolated cases often have very case-specific reasons and aggravating factors, but when the problem is a chronic one, the situation must be tackled in a more general manner – by looking at the flaws in the social habits that might cause these rapes. Maybe, if we were able to identify the true cause of the issue and stop these criminals hiding under the blanket of “men are rapists”, then we might make more headway.

        What’d you think?

        • Utpala Rai

          Hey,
          I agree….every problem can be solved once we know the root cause of it else we’ll keep cutting the tree and it will keep growing back. I recently saw this video which stated the real definition of rape in very simple words. I was about to write on it. It simple sent out the message that rape isn’t just a sexual act nor is it the result of a sexual desire. Rather rape is a mental violence and arises out of this mental aggression. In simple terms, we all are forced into being a particular gender and act in that particular way. A guy cannot cry and a girl cannot walk at night. We all are being raped. This mental subordination leads some people (some who are easily influenced or weak at mind and will power) to cause suffering to those who cross these gender borders. The 16th december accused said that they raped the girl as a punishment for roaming out late in the evening. If a girl dresses in a particular way, she “deserves” to be punished. In short, it has nothing to do with me wearing a bikini or a suit or a burqah, it all boils down to the assumption that good girls stay at home and strong guys dont cry.
          This is the only conclusion i could draw out of all this shit and the only solution is to never teach your child what a “real” man or a “real” woman does or is supposed to do.