I Will Never Get Over It but I Will Surely Get Better

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It was a sunny day, Agnes was expecting her cousin brother as he could come anytime. Mathew was Agnes’s brother who is working in a private firm. He is coming after a long time to their house. Agnes’s mom was preparing lunch, there was a horn sound, and it was her brother. She ran to her brother, he just took her in his hands and was going in the maximum radius he could swirl her. Yes, Agnes is just 7 years old. Agnes sat in his lap and was playing around with his mobile phone. Agnes was so close to her brother, she used to play with him all the time. After their lunch, her mom went in for a small nap. Agnes was with her brother, playing with him. In the evening, Mathew went back to his flat, but within this time something unusual has happened to her. She has become the victim of oral sex, and the culprit was her brother. Mathew convinced Agnes saying that all this is normal and there is no problem in such sort of things.

Days passed, Agnes was not able to concentrate in her activities. The next week again Mathew came to their house and the abuse took place. This carried on for one and a half years. During these one and a half years, Mathew used to come to their house every week and used to abuse his younger sister saying that all was fine and normal. At first, Agnes was not sure of what was happening to her. She allowed him to do whatever he wants to her.

One weekend, her brother came the same way and he had intensions for abuse, but she was not ready for that. Agnes was badly hurt physically and mentally, and she was totally depressed. She wanted to somehow get out of trauma. But he was not up to it, he beat her and she even tried to run away from that place, but he did not allow that. The only mistake she did was that she did not inform her parents about the behavior of her brother. All these while there was only oral sex between them, but now for the first time after one and a half years she was hit by him for intercourse. She was treated very badly by him. She was hit by him and then taken into the room for intercourse. Agnes was just eight and a half years old and was not either clear of what was going around her. He came around every week after that for the next six months, and that same happened to her every week. She was brutally raped by him and then beaten also. She was relieved only after two years.

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She was hurt a lot mentally and physically. She was cheated by her brother by telling that all this is just common and she has to experience it. She was just a little girl, who was starting to know more about the world and in such a small age she has become the victim to the wide spreading disease called as RAPE. She says the Aftermath of the rape was the most brutal one and it would have merely killed her. She kept it within her for 9 long years, she says, she blocked it, and pretended as if nothing like that have happened to her. She had told only her parents about this and that too after 6 years. She was not able to keep it within her, she says that she felt dirty, violated and depressed. But sooner or later, she says it became normal to her. Her brother took away her childhood, her happiness and everything. She says that only this thought was in her mind, and also when she thinks back to her childhood, the only thing that comes to her mind is the abuse by her brother. She plunked up the courage and told her parents about this at the age of 14, because she was not able to live in this hell, she felt so stupid in being like this. She says that when she kept this incident within her, she was experiencing the worst in her, which a small child would not even dream of. She was starting to have paranoia, which in other words means that the thought process that is caused of anxiety or fear in the person which will lead to irrationality or delusion. She had flashbacks, but in her case the flashbacks did not allow her to smile, rather these took away the smile in her. She was even treated for Panic Attacks, which nearly took her to a mental asylum. She says that her mood swings all the time and during this, she would lash out at everything around.

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She has recovered from that and now she is a new woman who wants to take her life forward. She says that she will never get over it, but will surely get better. Agnes was insulted a lot because of that incident, and did not have the courage to tell her parents directly and so she wrote a letter about all the incident that took place, and while showing her friend about this letter who was also abused in the early ages of childhood, her class teacher saw that and then informed to the Head Mistress, who informed her parents. She says that, she now has the courage to help girls who are in her condition and will help them come out of the situation they are in now. She says to all the rape victims that, “please don’t think that you can’t be strong after you become a prey in the hand of the animal, I know it’s hard to come out from such an incident, that will make you sit in darkness, make my own analysis on it over and over in my head trying to understand WHY ME? But the truth is I never will. Every day you get closer to happiness and you are not alone, get along with others and never think that you deserve less than the best”.

 

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