Few of my guy friends went on a trip to Nepal on bikes while I liked their Facebook photo updates. They slept in small hotels or drove throughout the night and ate at small dhabas (small eating joints). I liked their pictures and commented too but my insides were burning of envy. I looked up and cursed god for making me a girl. I wish every night before I sleep, to be reborn as a man or like Orlando, my gender changes.
Guys never understand my point of view and usually say, “Your life is much easier than us. You will get married and live an easy life. You get a complete compartment in metro. There are so many reservations for you. Teachers are hardly strict towards you. You get free entry or drinks in bars. You can bat your lids and get away with everything.” Wow! You guys really opened my eyes. Now I know that being a woman is a gift I never cherished. But wait, do you guys ever wish that you were a woman? I don’t think so. In this article i will put forth my reasons for being jealous of you and making this ‘absurd’ wish.
Being a woman means: monthly periods, this makes you sick, cranky and uncomfortable; stupid bras, that are costlier than our tops; your attitude that our life is easy after marriage; etc. These are only a few things we deal with. Beside all this is the constant fear of you. We fear both crowded as well as deserted streets. Every woman has experienced groping and eve teasing and rape headlines are not rare. But you will obviously pop up the argument that even you are not safe on deserted streets or even men get raped. I wish I could scream and punch you because you did not understand a word I said. Dude, you fear pick pockets, goons or worst being killed. A woman fears being marked for life. Rape or molestation or eve teasing is not just a physical act of violence rather it affects you on the whole. The woman starts walking with slouched shoulders, clutched hands and relives every second of the dreadful act and dies every day. Many commit suicide because they prefer death over the repetitive trauma for life. An American woman narrates her horrific experience on her short trip to India. She suffered being stalked, groped, narrowly escaped being raped and received unknown indecent calls. This trip ended in her being admitted to a rehabilitation center and even after years of psychological help she is unable to live a normal life. If you say that men too are raped then I can sympathize with those men but when you look at the statistics you will know that rape ratio of women: men is 70:9 and of those men, more than 50% are raped by your very own gender.
I had this argument with a friend who said that a man’s life is very difficult too. He said, “People have so many expectations from us. You guys can just get married and enjoy on your husband’s hard earned cash.” I still hate him for this. Do you mean to say that our parents do not expect anything from us? Do we want to live over you like a parasite? Well, in the old times and in rural areas, women were dependent on men only because they were ‘not allowed’ to study or earn their living. Even today, many of you expect us to give up our career after child birth and later boast of your manhood for taking care of the family.
One of the most important reasons for my wish to be a man is because you can pee while standing and that too anywhere on this planet. Recently a newspaper article read: “Two girls died looking for a toilet.” Had they been two boys, they would have just stood near a bush or a building or a monument or a bus stand or over a pot-hole and relieved themselves. The Indian government knows that the female: male ratio is so low that we hardly need toilets for women and men, well they have their tools.
I cannot even where shorts or sleeveless or roam round semi nude when it gets really hot. Do you realize how difficult it is to wear a super tight bra which hardly lets you breath and a top sanctioned by the government? Think about the hot humid days with no electricity? You guys have the advantage to just wear your shorts and nobody would give a second glance but if I go out in a suit without a dupatta (rectangular piece of cloth worn like a stole in India), somebody can rape me because that was a clear indication that I am ‘easy’. It is 45 degree Celsius today but I need to stay decent.
One more vantage of being a man is that you can never get pregnant. The society is so smart that it makes women feel as if they are blessed because they can give birth but I believe that it’s only a way to make us feel superior while the power lies with the patriarchy. We might celebrate the romantic idea of being the creators but scientifically, without men the world will not proceed. So, lets snap out of this fed concept that a woman is a mother, daughter, sister and wife; aren’t men- father, son, brother and husband? In fact, a guy does not check his bed sheets every month to see if they are stained or not. He does not worry if his periods are late. He doesn’t bloat up or bear the pain of child birth.
On the career point we see that even today, in the 21st century, women are paid about 35.67% less than their male counterparts. It has nothing to do with our skill, education or experience rather our gender. After all, we are bad drivers and hardly can do anything right beside the household chores.
I think, I have made my point clear and I have all the rights to hate and be jealous of men because they have everything I could have if only I had a penis. I think Freud was right about penis envy. I want to be a man so that I do not have to fear the dark, the strange, the deserted, the crowded as well as the new. I want to be a man so that I can soar high on my career path without getting married by 25 and having a child by 27. I want to be a man so that I don’t have to spend 50% of my salary on sanitary pads and bras. I want to be a man so that I can have the freedom to walk without slouching in return for a few high expectations which you guys use as a shield in every argument.